IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station.

The diagram below shows how electricity is generated in a hydroelectric power station.
#electricity #power #station
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The flow chart illustrates the
process
Use synonyms
 of generating
electricity
Use synonyms
 in a hydroelectric
power
Use synonyms
station
Use synonyms
. At first glance,
this
Linking Words
process
Use synonyms
 is made of five stages. At
first
Add a comma
first,
show examples
 the accumulation
water
Use synonyms
 flows to the
power
Use synonyms
station
Use synonyms
 in order to
Add a missing verb
have
show examples
its
power
Use synonyms
 converted to
electricity
Use synonyms
. It can be seen that the
process
Use synonyms
 of generating
electricity
Use synonyms
 is done during the day and night.
At the first stage
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
process
Add a comma
process,
show examples
 the
water
Use synonyms
 of the river should be accumulated behind the dam which is open during the day to allow
water
Use synonyms
flow
Fix the infinitive
to flow
show examples
 to the
power
Use synonyms
station
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the reversible turbines which operate
generator
Correct article usage
a generator
show examples
 during the day to produce
electricity
Use synonyms
. The produced
electricity
Use synonyms
 goes through the
power
Use synonyms
 lines and
then
Linking Words
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 grid in order to
consuming
Wrong verb form
be consumed
show examples
. After that, the
water
Use synonyms
 is guided to the low-level reservoir and at night, it goes back to the
power
Use synonyms
station
Use synonyms
. In the final step, the reservable turbine
pump
Correct subject-verb agreement
pumps
show examples
 the
water
Use synonyms
 into
high-level
Correct article usage
a high-level
show examples
 reservoir and it flows to get back behind the dam and the whole
process
Use synonyms
 is repeated to produce
electricity
Use synonyms
 constantly.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words process, electricity, power, station, water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Reservoir
  • Penstock
  • Turbine
  • Generator
  • Transformer
  • High voltage
  • Renewable energy
  • Kinetic energy
  • Potential energy
  • Power grid
  • Sustainable
  • Flow rate
  • Energy conversion
  • Hydraulic pressure
What to do next:
Look at other essays: