Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, there are plenty of things that can amuse
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
and draw
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
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attentions
Correct your spelling
attention
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to themselves,
therefore
, these days individuals
use
Verb problem
spend
show examples
most of their time spending on what ever they want
instead
of
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
attention to perform their tasks, in
this
essay
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
this
issue in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
.
Submitted by sindokhtdadjoo2000 on

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coherence cohesion
In order to improve the logical structure of your essay, consider organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that guide the reader through your argument. Use linking words and phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs, and make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
An effective essay should include both an introduction and a conclusion. Your introduction should introduce the topic and your thesis statement, while your conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your thesis in light of the evidence provided. Make sure these are clearly delineated in your essay structure.
coherence cohesion
Your main points need to be supported by relevant examples or evidence. When you make a claim, follow it up with specific details, such as real-world examples or personal experiences that illustrate your point. This makes your argument more convincing and adds depth to your essay.
task achievement
For a high score in task achievement, ensure that your response is directly relevant to the question posed. It is crucial to answer all parts of the question and to develop your ideas comprehensively. Stay focused on the topic and avoid straying into unrelated tangents.
task achievement
Your ideas should be expressed clearly and comprehensively. Make sure you elaborate on your points sufficiently and express your reasoning in a way that is easy to understand. Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to convey your ideas effectively.
task achievement
Using relevant and specific examples strengthens your essay by providing concrete evidence to support your points. Make sure that your examples are directly tied to the argument you're making and that they're detailed enough to illuminate your point of view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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