The rise of social media has affected personal, relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays,
the
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with the
show examples
development of
social
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society
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and the more popular it be ,
people
seem to have kept away from
realtionships
Correct your spelling
relationships
and society,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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also
affected
Wrong verb form
affects
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on
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apply
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personal
Replace the word
personality
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.
This
writer
think
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thinks
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that
cons
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the cons
show examples
of beautifying
profile
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profiles
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and keeping
news
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the news
show examples
on social
media
superior
Add a missing verb
are superior
show examples
to
pros
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the pros
show examples
. The most advantageous factor is that
socical
Correct your spelling
social
media
release many
function
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functions
show examples
that
seduce
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seduces
show examples
people
easily, some popular social
media
encompass Twitter, Facebook,
Telegram
Correct word choice
and Telegram
show examples
. In
other word
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another word
other words
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, Social
media
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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people
to keep in touch with their family and friends, not only they can follow
their
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the
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people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they know and where they are but they
also
follow their
idol
Fix the agreement mistake
idols
show examples
and famous
people
.
Moreover
,
people
can study tricks
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear introduction that presents the topic and its importance, which could set up the discussion effectively for the reader. The conclusion is also incomplete or missing, as the essay cuts off abruptly without summarizing the points or stating a clear opinion
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of the essay is disjointed, with ideas presented in a fragmented manner. Sentences do not seem to follow a logical sequence, which can confuse readers as to the progression of your argument. Transition words and phrases that could help to connect these ideas are either missing or incorrectly used.
task achievement
The response does not fully answer the question. The essay needs to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of social media usage in a more balanced way. Additionally, the essay needs to make a clearer argument as to whether the advantages or disadvantages outweigh one another.
task achievement
The ideas presented need to be developed more comprehensively. Currently, the points are stated without sufficient explanation or support. Expanding on each point with further details, explanations, and examples would strengthen the overall essay.
task achievement
The essay lacks specific, relevant examples to support the points being made. Including concrete examples would illustrate your points more effectively and help to persuade the reader.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • networking opportunities
  • real-time information
  • community building
  • marketing opportunities
  • self-expression
  • educational content
  • privacy concerns
  • data security
  • misinformation
  • fake news
  • cyberbullying
  • interpersonal skills
  • distraction
  • productivity
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