It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.

Certain people consider media, pop culture and
friends
to be the most important aspects that influence
children
’s growing up,
while
others believe that
nearest
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the nearest
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people play a vital role. In my view,
family’s
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the family’s
show examples
attention overcomes the impact of outside factors. To start with, there might be several reasons why the influence of pop culture, media and
friends
is thought to be predominant.
Firstly
, all these aspects accompany each person every day and it is absolutely impossible to ignore them.
That is
why, they have a constant impact on
child’s
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a child’s
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development
which can be even higher than
family’s
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the family’s
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affection as relatives have no opportunity to stay with
children
on
regular
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a regular
show examples
basis
due to
their personal matters and work.
For example
, many
children
spend
free
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their free
show examples
time watching
tv
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TV
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on
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or
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hanging out with
friends
because their
family
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families
show examples
is
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are
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busy and they do
no
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not
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have other options.
Secondly
, nowadays outer factors can have an eternal impact on kids via gadgets. Electronic
decides
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devices
show examples
broaden
children
’s opportunities and let them search the net, chat with
friends
and stay online everywhere.
Therefore
, limitless access to these factors
make
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makes
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children
more involved and
enhance
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enhances
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affection
on
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for
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kids’
development
at the expense of families.
For instance
, even when all family members gather in
its
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their
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entirety
children
do not stop using gadgets and the influence of outer aspects
continue
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continues
show examples
.
However
, there exists
other point
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another point
other points
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of view
in
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on
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this
issue. First of all, family members are the very people who surround
children
from their birth. Raising their kids
parents
lay
foundation
Add an article
the foundation
a foundation
show examples
of values, behaviour, character and other inner things that help every child to transform into a personality. Internal patterns of personality determine
litteraly
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literally
every sphere of his/her life
what
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which
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proves a
family
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family's
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role in
children
’s
development
.
Moreover
,
parents
become a role model for their
children
. It means that kids copy their
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
show examples
habits, interests and goals which affects their
development
and life path.
For example
, a lot of
children
take over
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their parents
show examples
parents
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parents'
parent's
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hobbies and preferences which may lead
starting
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to starting
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the same career.
To sum up
, despite the fact that media, pop culture and
friends
are significant in
children
’s
development
, I assume
parents
to be the most vital aspect in kids’ becoming as they start affective
children
from the first day of life
Submitted by dostoesckaya.annushka on

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task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the requirements of the task by discussing both views and providing your opinion. For a higher score, ensure to fully develop your ideas and provide a clearer, more explicit opinion statement.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates logical progression with clear main points. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and some paragraphs require better topic sentences for increased clarity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • development
  • media
  • pop culture
  • peers
  • family
  • social skills
  • beliefs
  • values
  • emotional support
  • moral guidance
  • aspirations
  • self-image
  • social development
  • value system
  • harmony
  • conflict
  • significant
  • behaviors
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