It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.
Certain people consider media, pop culture and
friends
to be the most important aspects that influence children
’s growing up, while
others believe that nearest
people play a vital role. In my view, Correct article usage
the nearest
family’s
attention overcomes the impact of outside factors.
To start with, there might be several reasons why the influence of pop culture, media and Correct article usage
the family’s
friends
is thought to be predominant. Firstly
, all these aspects accompany each person every day and it is absolutely impossible to ignore them. That is
why, they have a constant impact on child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
development
which can be even higher than family’s
affection as relatives have no opportunity to stay with Correct article usage
the family’s
children
on regular
basis Correct article usage
a regular
due to
their personal matters and work. For example
, many children
spend free
time watching Correct pronoun usage
their free
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
on
hanging out with Correct your spelling
or
friends
because their family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
is
busy and they do Correct subject-verb agreement
are
no
have other options. Correct your spelling
not
Secondly
, nowadays outer factors can have an eternal impact on kids via gadgets. Electronic decides
broaden Correct your spelling
devices
children
’s opportunities and let them search the net, chat with friends
and stay online everywhere. Therefore
, limitless access to these factors make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
children
more involved and enhance
affection Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
on
kids’ Change preposition
for
development
at the expense of families. For instance
, even when all family members gather in its
entirety Correct pronoun usage
their
children
do not stop using gadgets and the influence of outer aspects continue
.
Correct subject-verb agreement
continues
However
, there exists other point
of view Change the wording
another point
other points
in
Change preposition
on
this
issue. First of all, family members are the very people who surround children
from their birth. Raising their kids parents
lay foundation
of values, behaviour, character and other inner things that help every child to transform into a personality. Internal patterns of personality determine Add an article
the foundation
a foundation
litteraly
every sphere of his/her life Correct your spelling
literally
what
proves a Correct pronoun usage
which
family
role in Change noun form
family's
children
’s development
. Moreover
, parents
become a role model for their children
. It means that kids copy their parents
habits, interests and goals which affects their Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
development
and life path. For example
, a lot of children
take over Correct pronoun usage
their parents
parents
hobbies and preferences which may lead Change noun form
parents'
parent's
starting
the same career.
Change preposition
to starting
To sum up
, despite the fact that media, pop culture and friends
are significant in children
’s development
, I assume parents
to be the most vital aspect in kids’ becoming as they start affective children
from the first day of lifeSubmitted by dostoesckaya.annushka on
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task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the requirements of the task by discussing both views and providing your opinion. For a higher score, ensure to fully develop your ideas and provide a clearer, more explicit opinion statement.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates logical progression with clear main points. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and some paragraphs require better topic sentences for increased clarity.