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It is commonly believed that nowadays main factors that affect a child's development are media, pop culture and friends. A different point of view is that family plays the most significant role. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Write at least 250 words.

#factors #child #development #media #pop #culture #friends #point #role
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Certain people consider media, pop culture and
friends
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 to be the most important aspects that influence
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children
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’s growing up,
while
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 others believe that
nearest
Correct article usage
the nearest
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 people play a vital role. In my view,
family’s
Correct article usage
the family’s
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 attention overcomes the impact of outside factors. To start with, there might be several reasons why the influence of pop culture, media and
friends
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 is thought to be predominant.
Firstly
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, all these aspects accompany each person every day and it is absolutely impossible to ignore them.
That is
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 why, they have a constant impact on
child’s
Correct article usage
a child’s
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development
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 which can be even higher than
family’s
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the family’s
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 affection as relatives have no opportunity to stay with
children
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 on
regular
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a regular
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 basis
due to
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 their personal matters and work.
For example
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, many
children
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 spend
free
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their free
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 time watching
tv
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TV
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on
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or
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 hanging out with
friends
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 because their
family
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families
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is
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are
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 busy and they do
no
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not
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 have other options.
Secondly
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, nowadays outer factors can have an eternal impact on kids via gadgets. Electronic
decides
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devices
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 broaden
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children
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’s opportunities and let them search the net, chat with
friends
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 and stay online everywhere.
Therefore
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, limitless access to these factors
make
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makes
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children
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 more involved and
enhance
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enhances
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 affection
on
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for
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 kids’
development
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 at the expense of families.
For instance
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, even when all family members gather in
its
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their
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 entirety
children
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 do not stop using gadgets and the influence of outer aspects
continue
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continues
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.
However
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, there exists
other point
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another point
other points
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 of view
in
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on
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this
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 issue. First of all, family members are the very people who surround
children
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 from their birth. Raising their kids
parents
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 lay
foundation
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the foundation
a foundation
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 of values, behaviour, character and other inner things that help every child to transform into a personality. Internal patterns of personality determine
litteraly
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literally
 every sphere of his/her life
what
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which
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 proves a
family
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family's
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 role in
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children
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’s
development
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.
Moreover
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,
parents
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 become a role model for their
children
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. It means that kids copy their
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parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
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 habits, interests and goals which affects their
development
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 and life path.
For example
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, a lot of
children
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 take over
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Correct pronoun usage
their parents
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parents
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parents'
parent's
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 hobbies and preferences which may lead
starting
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to starting
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 the same career.
To sum up
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, despite the fact that media, pop culture and
friends
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 are significant in
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children
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’s
development
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, I assume
parents
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 to be the most vital aspect in kids’ becoming as they start affective
children
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 from the first day of life
Submitted by dostoesckaya.annushka on

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task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the requirements of the task by discussing both views and providing your opinion. For a higher score, ensure to fully develop your ideas and provide a clearer, more explicit opinion statement.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates logical progression with clear main points. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and some paragraphs require better topic sentences for increased clarity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • influence
  • development
  • media
  • pop culture
  • peers
  • family
  • social skills
  • beliefs
  • values
  • emotional support
  • moral guidance
  • aspirations
  • self-image
  • social development
  • value system
  • harmony
  • conflict
  • significant
  • behaviors
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