IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that a car is the best way to travel in cities while others believe a bicycle is a better way to commute. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #car #travel #cities #bicycle
Nowadays, many
people
 think that
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
 is the best option to
travel
 in cities but some
people
 believe that
bicycle
Correct article usage
a bicycle
show examples
 is the best way of going anywhere in the city.
Traveling
Change the spelling
Travelling
show examples
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
cars
Fix the agreement mistake
car
show examples
 can cause
pollution
whereas
bicycles
 are a
pollution free
Add a hyphen
pollution-free
show examples
 source of
traveling
Replace the word
travel
show examples
 and
also
 contain benefits in daily life. From one point of view,
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 is a more comfortable convince, it
don’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
doesn’t
show examples
 waste
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
much time and we can reach
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our destination
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
 time, but
increasing
Add an article
the increasing
show examples
concept
Correct article usage
the concept
show examples
 of using private
cars
 could
also
 cause
increase
Add an article
an increase
show examples
 in air
pollution
as well as
 noise
pollution
 will
also
 increase.
According to
 the survey,
World
Correct article usage
the World
show examples
 Health Organization revealed in 2022, that in Pakistan most of the
people
 are using their private
cars
then
bicycles
 or busses, which is the big reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 increasing environmental
pollution
 in Pakistan
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 in Lahore.
On the other hand
, many
people
 think
bicycles
 should be preferred
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
cars
 because using
bicycles
 could
decline
Verb problem
decrease
show examples
 the ratio of air
pollution
 in that country. It could be observed, that if a person is always using
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
the bicycle
show examples
 to
travel
, he is
physical
Change the word
physically
show examples
 fit
then
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 those who do not like to
travel
 by
bicycles
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycle
show examples
 and
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
cars
 to
travel
. In conclusion,
although
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
 is
more
Add an article
the more
a more
show examples
 comfortable source of
traveling
Replace the word
travel
show examples
 but bicycle can make us more active and
decline
Verb problem
reduce
show examples
 the
pollution
 ratio in our
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
. In my opinion, we should use
bicycles
 to commute because it have just benefits rather
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 using
cars
.
Submitted by jhonyxxx579 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and follows a logical sequence. Use cohesive devices appropriately but avoid overusing them.
task achievement
Present a balanced discussion of both views before providing your opinion. Make sure to fully extend your ideas with explanations and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: