IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other private vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cost #fuel #cars #vehicles
In recent years, climate change
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 one of the environmental problems. some
people
 insist that increasing the price of fuel for private vehicles can assist
solving
Change preposition
in solving
show examples
this
 problem. I partially agree,
rising
Correct word choice
that rising
show examples
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 can help
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
people to
Change preposition
people's
show examples
 utilize their private transportation,
however
, the most important is how the government provides reliable public transportation so
people
 would be more interested
to use
Change preposition
in using
show examples
and
Correct pronoun usage
it and
show examples
 help solving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmental issues. In
this
 essay, I will examine all the relevant arguments based on factual premises. It can be argued that increasing the fee
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 fuel can
cease
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
people
to utilize
Change preposition
from utilizing
show examples
 their cars,
however
, increased fuel prices might not significantly reduce consumption because of the lack of alternatives in transport.
Moreover
, it will create new
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 for low-income individuals who rely on vehicles to
comute
Correct your spelling
commute
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Therefore
, increasing the cost without improving public
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 is not the best solution.
Submitted by gladysdharmawan1994 on

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structure
Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The introduction should state the topic and your position. The body should develop your arguments with supporting evidence, and the conclusion should summarize the main points and restate your position.
cohesion
Work on logical sequence and paragraphs transitions to improve essay flow. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and logically connected sentences.
support
Add relevant, specific examples to support your points and illustrate arguments. This adds weight to your essay and demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
task response
Fully address all parts of the task. Provide a more developed argument and a wider range of structures and ideas. Your essay should discuss both sides of the argument if you partially agree and offer a clear rationale for your position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental sustainability
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • public transportation
  • carbon footprint
  • economic incentives
  • alternative energy vehicles
  • fuel-efficient
  • government subsidies
  • economic disparity
  • urban planning
  • rural infrastructure
  • sustainable development
  • carbon tax
  • green technology
  • demand elasticity
  • energy conservation
  • climate change mitigation
What to do next:
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