Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members ofsociety. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Becoming a good individual in
society
is a very challenging Use synonyms
process
.There is a belief that Use synonyms
parents
should assist their Use synonyms
offsprings
in Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
this
Linking Words
process
as they have plenty of experience to share,Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
other category
of individuals Change the wording
another category
other categories
along with
me suppose that Linking Words
acadedmic
institutions Correct your spelling
academic
such
as Linking Words
schools
are Use synonyms
in
the Change preposition
at
center
of Change the spelling
centre
this
development because Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
children
are exposed to free Use synonyms
interations
with others which is in fact Correct your spelling
interactions
first
step towards being a good member of Add an article
the first
society
.
On the one Use synonyms
hand
parenting has Add a comma
hand,
significant
role in fostering Add an article
a significant
necessary
skills and features required for being a good person because Correct article usage
the necessary
parents
represent the characteristics of good members of Use synonyms
society
Use synonyms
for
their Change preposition
to
children
and they pass on their wisdom to their kids by giving them Use synonyms
feedbacks
and instructions to their actions so they could differ qualities needed to be a good person.Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
Children
receiving Use synonyms
feedbacks
or sometimes getting punishments for the Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
consecuences
of their actions are very likely not to repeat those same mistakes Correct your spelling
consequences
over
which in collection sets a frame for being good.When I was a toddler I remember that my mother used to lock my cars in case I behaved badly in Change preposition
apply
kindergarden
which first made me really angry at her but Correct your spelling
kindergarten
then
I learnt a valuable lesson of behaving well around others so I would not again be separated from my lovely cars.Linking Words
Therefore
Linking Words
parents
are important in Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
process
.
Use synonyms
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
schools
are the first places where kids directly interact with other members of Use synonyms
society
which is vital in Use synonyms
evolution
of social skills needed to Add an article
the evolution
upbring
a good representative of Correct your spelling
bring
society
.Schoolers chat,laugh,argue and apologise and these apart from being a regular routine help them to get a basic understanding and rules of interaction with others which is a valuable lesson that can not be acquired from parenting alone and Use synonyms
children
who were constantly attending Use synonyms
schools
are more likely to become successful and generally good in comparison with those who never went to school.Many young girls in Afganistan are not allowed to attend Use synonyms
schools
Use synonyms
as a result
they not only lag behind Linking Words
from
Change preposition
apply
thir
peers in education but their social ability as well Correct your spelling
their
fail
to develop.Correct subject-verb agreement
fails
Thus
Linking Words
schools
are crucial in it.
In conclusion,despite Use synonyms
importance
of Add an article
the importance
parents
in Use synonyms
Use synonyms
process
of Correct article usage
the process
bring
up a potential good member of Change the verb form
bringing
Use synonyms
society
they do not greatly contribute to Add a comma
society,
development
of social skills that Add an article
the development
schools
do which is one of the most important features of a good person.Use synonyms
Submitted by qodirxojaevizzat90 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a recognizable logical structure but needs more clarity in paragraphing, specifically with clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph. The transition between ideas can be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be improved to better showcase your main argument and summarise the points made. Currently, the introduction is too brief and lacks a clear thesis statement, while the conclusion could more clearly reaffirm your stance.
coherence cohesion
You have supported your main points with explanations and one personal example. However, to strengthen your argument further, include more varied and detailed examples that directly relate to the prompt. Avoid generic statements and aim for clear and specific evidence to back up your claims.
task achievement
Although you address both views and provide your own opinion as the task requires, your essay could benefit from a more thorough exploration of both perspectives. Ensure that you fully develop each point with explanations and examples before concluding with your own perspective for a more balanced and complete response.
task achievement
The ideas you have presented are relevant and there is an attempt to explain them, but they need to be articulated in a more comprehensive and structured manner for the reader to easily follow your line of reasoning. Be accurate with your language usage to better convey your message.
task achievement
Some specific examples are included, but they need to be more relevant and effective. Make sure your examples directly support the point you're making and contribute effectively to the overall argument. Additionally, try to showcase a broader range of examples to cover the full scope of the topic.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general