IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most of world's problems are caused by over population. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#world #population
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Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
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, the growth of
population
Use synonyms
 has been increasing which creating massive problems in the world . I
am totally agree
Change the verb form
totally agree
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 with the statement that because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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population
Use synonyms
 growth unemployment
also
Linking Words
 increased and
also
Linking Words
showing
Wrong verb form
showed
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drastic
Add an article
the drastic
a drastic
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 effect on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 on the side . The paragraph given below will explain my opinions . Primarly, the growth of the
population
Use synonyms
 has been increasing and
its
Correct your spelling
it is
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also
Linking Words
 increasing competition to get
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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 in each sector .
For instance
Linking Words
 , immigrants coming to Canada are facing
shortage
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a shortage
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in
Change preposition
of
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 jobs and moving to
countryside
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the countryside
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 in order to work
for
Change preposition
to
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survival
Replace the word
survive
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
over
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
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population
Use synonyms
 people
also
Linking Words
 find it hard to look for
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
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 at affordable
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
over
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
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population
Use synonyms
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 massive change in the job sector and
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 getting hard to survive day by day.
Secondly
Linking Words
 ,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 pollution has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the realease
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realease
Correct your spelling
release
 of harmful gases from vehicles which
leds
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led
 to
depletion
Correct article usage
the depletion
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 of
ozone
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the ozone
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 layer .
For example
Linking Words
 , in the
past
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past,
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 only one person
work
Wrong verb form
worked
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 and
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 one vehicle for
whole
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the whole
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 family but
nowdays
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nowadays
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 all family member has their own car which
increase
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increases
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 harmful amount of harmful gases in the air .
Additionally
Linking Words
 , the large
amount
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number
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 of automobiles in the city
also
Linking Words
cause
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causes
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of
Change preposition
apply
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noise pollution too . In conclusion, there is
undeniable
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an undeniable
the undeniable
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 fact that
amoun
Correct your spelling
amount
 of
population
Use synonyms
 increases with time and
world
Correct article usage
the world
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 faces environmental and unemployment issues with it . It is highly recommended that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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would
Verb problem
apply
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make policies for solving
this
Linking Words
 issue and
implemented
Wrong verb form
implement
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in
Correct pronoun usage
them in
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 every
nations
Change to a singular noun
nation
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.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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introduction conclusion present
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction with a thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence.
logical structure
Organize your ideas logically, with each paragraph following cohesively from the previous one. Use a range of cohesive devices to link your ideas together more effectively.
supported main points
Provide clear examples to support each point you make, ensuring that they are relevant to the topic and illustrate your argument well.
complete response
Ensure that you address the prompt fully, staying on topic. Develop each of your main points fully with explanations and examples to show how they relate to the overall argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clear and comprehensive articulation of ideas. Make sure each idea is thoroughly explained and well integrated into your overall argument.
relevant specific examples
Use specific examples to illustrate your points. While hypothetical situations can be useful, real-world examples tend to be more impactful and persuasive.
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