Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation?
A lot of
people
spend their entire life
doing Fix the agreement mistake
lives
work
that they hate or no
Add a missing verb
have no
talent
for. This
essay will discuss the reason behind
, Correct pronoun usage
behind it
as well as
the consequences of this
situation.
One of the main reasons is that people
tend to choose the
Correct article usage
a
career
that they think is stable and able to earn enough to sustain their ideal lifestyle. Career
that can provide financial stability and wealth is their priority, Add an article
A career
The career
instead
of whether they are interested in that field. For instance
, asian
parents would always encourage their children to be Change the capitalization
Asian
a
Correct article usage
apply
doctor
, Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
lawyer
, Fix the agreement mistake
lawyers
accountant
or Fix the agreement mistake
accountants
engineer
. Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
This
is because those professions are generally well-paid and come with prominent social status. Teenagers or students who do not know what to study will then
listen to their parents'
or Correct your spelling
parents
elderly's
advice to pursue something that they are not good at or not interested in.
Correct article usage
the elderly's
In addition
to that, some people
might be forced to choose a career
that they hate or no
Add a missing verb
have no
talent
for because they simply do not have other choices. It might be due to
financial reason
. Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
For example
, one can be interested to be
a dentist, but to study dentistry requires Change preposition
in being
substantial
amount of funding, he or she could not afford it and Add an article
a substantial
therefore
is forced to opt for other
Change the wording
another career
other careers
career
.
The consequences of this
situation are that many people
will not enjoy their daily work
. They only work
to get their pay check
and wait for weekends every week to 'live their lives'. Since they hate or have no Correct your spelling
paycheck
talent
for their work
, it will be difficult for them to perform and excel in their field. As time goes by, they might feel fatigue
and 'Change the verb form
fatigued
silent
quit' their jobs.
In conclusion, many Change the word
silently
people
in the contemporary era are wasting their life
doing things that they hate or Fix the agreement mistake
lives
no
Add a missing verb
have no
talent
for. It is mainly because they prioritise wealth and financial stability over their own interest. Therefore
, resulting in their inability to excel in what they do.Submitted by michellehoon0924 on
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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, it's important to ensure that paragraphs are well-organized and clearly linked. Transition words and phrases should be used effectively to connect ideas and arguments. In the provided essay, while there is some use of cohesive devices, more could be utilized to improve the flow of information. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a clearer distinction between causes and consequences, possibly by introducing separate paragraphs for each.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, fully address all parts of the prompt by providing a more in-depth analysis of both the reasons behind and the consequences of the issue. Consider demonstrating a wider range of relevant examples and real-world scenarios to support your points. To score higher, your essay should develop a balanced argument with a clear, direct response to the question, including a more comprehensive conclusion that encapsulates all the main points discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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