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Writing Samples
Band 4

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opedend, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features making comparisons where relevant.

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opedend, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features making comparisons where relevant.
#data #railway #systems #six #cities #date #opedend #kilometres #route #passenger #numbers #year #millions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The provided data set compares the
subway
Use synonyms
 networks in six major cities in terms of the starting
year
Use synonyms
, the total length of the
train
Use synonyms
 track, and the number of commuters transported per
year
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
London
Use synonyms
's underground railway is the first to operate and has the longest railway line among the rest.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, referring to the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of people served each
year
Use synonyms
, Tokyo's beneath-the-surface
train
Use synonyms
 system holds the top place. In terms of the opening date and kilometres of the route, the
London
Use synonyms
Subway
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 is the oldest, commenced in 1863, and bears the longest railroad line (around 400 km),
whereas
Linking Words
 the newest to join the transportation is Los Angeles' underground
train
Use synonyms
 grid, which has a medium expansion of about half of
London
Use synonyms
's track. Paris, Tokyo, and Washington, DC, all joined the underground transportation system between 1927 and 1976, with
train
Use synonyms
 lines ranging from 100km to 200km. Kyoto City was introduced with an underground
subway
Use synonyms
 in 1981, holding a modest 11-kilometre railway track, which is the minimum length for an underground
train
Use synonyms
 across these six cities. When considering the service provided, the Tokyo
train
Use synonyms
 grid is the busiest, handling almost 2000 million travellers each
year
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Paris follows with over 1000 million cases handled. The oldest in the group, the
London
Use synonyms
subway
Use synonyms
, accommodates 775 million individuals annually. The other three
showcase
Change to a plural noun
showcases
show examples
 moderate usage by their townspeople, which indicates a trend of the latest
train
Use synonyms
traks
Correct your spelling
tracks
 being designed to have
train
Use synonyms
 lines with short tracks intended to transport far fewer people than those of the past.
Submitted by gayrukasampath on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words subway, year, train, london with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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