IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for companies and organizations.

#people #work #companies #organizations
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In recent decades, the majority of people prefer to run their own
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
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, not work for companies.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons
of
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for
show examples
this
 decision and
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
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 of
self-employed
Add a missing verb
being self-employed
show examples
. On the
one
 hand, being reluctant to work for others has some rational reasons.
For example
, despite the fact that having a 9 to 5 office
jobs
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job
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 offers a fixed monthly salary and some perks, it does not have flexible hours and employees cannot have
work-life
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a work-life
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 balance as they are trapped in a flexible timetable.
Moreover
, there might not be
a quick promotion prospects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a quick promotion prospect
quick promotion prospects
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 and
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
show examples
 have to circle around themselves and do some monotonous tasks.
Thus
, some of them may think that it isn't worth wasting a lot of precious time even if the job provides them with
a
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apply
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reasonable job security.
On the other hand
, despite several advantages that being self-employed has, it might have a few detrimental implications.
One
 of the main drawbacks is that running a business has a risk of failure and bankruptcy. By way of example,
one
 of my friends went bankrupt and
loss
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lost
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 a great deal of money when he could not meet the
depts
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debts
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 of a number of big companies.
Consequently
, he ended up
depression
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with depression
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 and
nervous
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a nervous
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 breakdown.
Also
, sometimes failures might be the result of the lack of trying to use some methods to attract a target market or finding a way to
sets
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set
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 your business apart from others. Another downside of being your own
bosses
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boss
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 is that
,
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apply
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 you might have to bear a heavy
work load
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workload
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and be occupied and are not able to allocate time for your family and friends. In conclusion, both
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 employed by an organization or a company
,
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apply
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 and
be
Wrong verb form
being
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 employed by yourself have some adverse influences and it depends on individuals' preferences to have the capacity
of tolerating
Change preposition
to tolerate
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 which
one
.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the logical structure, ensure your essay has a clear introductory sentence for each paragraph that outlines the main point. This will help guide the reader and make the progression of ideas smoother.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be strengthened. The introduction should clearly state your main points, while the conclusion should effectively summarize the essay without introducing new information.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples or evidence. Rather than general statements, use concrete examples or cite relevant data to back up your arguments. This will make your essay more persuasive and impactful.
Task Achievement
Ensure you address the task completely by fully discussing both sides of the issue and by providing a relevant conclusion that resonates with the discussion in the body paragraphs. Partially incomplete responses can affect your score.
Task Achievement
Strive to present clear and comprehensive ideas by developing each point thoroughly. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, and expand on it with detailed explanations and examples.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. These examples should be directly linked to the points you're making and should not be generic. Personal examples can be used but ensure they are relatable and reinforce your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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