The world has seen an enormous increase in flights for leisure, business and commercial purposes around the world over recent years. What do you think are the main advantages and disadvantages of such flights? Do you think flights should be taxed more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
There has been a significant rise in the number of trips by plane for entertainment, business and trading aims all over the world
during
recent years. Change preposition
in
While
rising in
Change preposition
apply
flights
may bring about some drawbacks, I would argue they are eclipsed by the benefits.
On the one hand, although
nowaday
technology is more and more Correct your spelling
nowadays
advance
, Wrong verb form
advanced
to run
Change the verb form
running
Correct article usage
an airplane
airplane
still has to use fossil Change the spelling
aeroplane
fuel
. Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
Therefore
, the dramatic increase in the frequency of these flights
will lead to serious results. Following that, we must exploit and use more fossil fuel
. Fix the agreement mistake
fuels
That is
one of the reasons become the
global warming and cause extreme Correct article usage
apply
weathear
phenomena. Correct your spelling
weather
Besides
, using a lot of fossil fuel
also
has a contribution to go up the price of fossil fuel
, having a detrimental impact on the poor who uses
gasoline and the same products to work and move on.
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
On the other hand
, apart from the aforementioned disadvantages, such
flights
play a fundamental role in the economic development of a nation
. First of all, increasing in
Change preposition
apply
such
flights
will make
a lot of jobs and from that the unemployment problems of Verb problem
create
nation
will improve remarkably. Add an article
the nation
a nation
Secondly
, flights
for business and commercial aims will strengthen the economic connection between other nations and other continents because goods and service
from a Fix the agreement mistake
services
nation
easily exchange
and Wrong verb form
be exchanged
purchase
with other nations. Replace the word
purchased
Moreover
, flights
for leisure aims will make it easier for people in the world to travel and learn about Correct article usage
the tradition
tradition
, culture and education of Fix the agreement mistake
traditions
nation
where they Correct article usage
the nation
set
foodVerb problem
spend
in
.
From my point of view, I think that should not be taxed more because it will reduce Change preposition
apply
development
motivation of nations. Correct article usage
the development
In addition
, it will limit learning
and discovery of Correct article usage
the learning
citizen
around the world.
In conclusion, the benefits of Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
flights
for leisure, business and commercial purposes outweigh its drawbacks. Therefore
, governments should encourage and support such
flights
.Submitted by weezel on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve your score in coherence and cohesion, work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. The logical flow of your essay is important, and you can enhance it by using a variety of linking words and phrases. Align your paragraphs clearly with distinct topic sentences and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the one before it.
Task Achievement
Regarding task achievement, ensure that each part of the prompt is directly addressed. For instance, the question about whether flights should be taxed more is not fully explored—your essay should include a more in-depth consideration of this aspect. Use a wider range of specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will also make your ideas clearer and easier for the reader to follow, therefore increasing the task achievement score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
