IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about how teenagers (aged 12-19) in one state in the United States communicated with each other. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below gives information about how teenagers (aged 12-19) in one state in the United States communicated with each other. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.
#information #teenagers #states #summarise #features #comparison
The information in the graph shows the percentage of various methods of communication used by adolescents (aged 12-19) in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
. From November 2006 to September 2009. Essentially,
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of text messages rose dramatically, calls on
sell
Correct your spelling
cell
show examples
 phones rose slightly,
whereas
 the usage of email declined and talk face-to-face stayed the same. In 2006 calls
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 cell phones and
talk-face-to-face
Correct your spelling
face-to-face
show examples
 were the principal methods of communication among US teenagers. Email,
however
, was little utilized. In
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 three years
situation
Add an article
the situation
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed a little. The number of young adults who
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 emails as their way to contact other people fell from 15% to 10% in September 2009. Use of the text messages from 30% in November 2006 rose to the most common means of communication among teenagers in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
. The proportion of talking face-to-face fluctuated between 2006 and 2009.
Use
Correct article usage
The use
show examples
 of calls on cell phones reached a peak in 2007 at around 40%.
Submitted by julykryuchkova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: