Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, numerous processed foods and

beverages

Use synonyms

have high

sugar

Use synonyms

content, leading to more

people

Use synonyms

suffering from health issues

such

Linking Words

as diabetes. To solve

this

Linking Words

problem, some believe that it is crucial to heighten the

price

Use synonyms

products

Use synonyms

containing high

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

, which will lessen the amount of

sugar

Use synonyms

being consumed by

individuals

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

passage discusses why it is a good idea to do so. If

this

Linking Words

idea were about to be implemented, it is going to take a long time to

finally

Linking Words

be implemented optimally. Many producing companies have measured the cost and

price

Use synonyms

that is

Linking Words

suitable for their

products

Use synonyms

, which might be difficult for them if

this

Linking Words

regulation is going to be applied. Another problem that might arise is the impact that might

happen

Verb problem

have

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

low-income

individuals

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, in some countries, soda is one of the cheapest

beverages

Use synonyms

someone can buy

while

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

providing those who consume it with energy from

sugar

Use synonyms

, which is one of the reasons why many

people

Use synonyms

buy it, especially those with low income.

However

Linking Words

, there are many advantages that

also

Linking Words

need to be considered. The first one

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

health

Correct article usage

the health

show examples

improvements of the

people

Use synonyms

. The heightened

price

Use synonyms

of these

products

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

means that

people

Use synonyms

are going to buy foods and

beverages

Use synonyms

that are cheaper

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when compared to processed

products

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

will encourage

individuals

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

understand the importance of eating healthier food, which hopefully will be cheaper compared to unhealthy food. As an example,

people

Use synonyms

who are used to

buy

Wrong verb form

buying

show examples

high

Add a hyphen

high-sugar

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

level drinks

are hoped

Wrong verb form

hope

show examples

to be drinking more water or homemade juice which will be cheaper in

price

Use synonyms

. These reasons will hopefully be the reasons why

people

Use synonyms

switch to a healthier lifestyle in the future. All in all, marking up the

price

Use synonyms

of foods and

beverages

Use synonyms

containing high

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

sugar

Use synonyms

is expected to have more positive changes to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society as it will help

individuals

Use synonyms

to have a healthier diet.

anindyadewi58Thu Jan 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea, and that ideas progress smoothly from one to the next. Use linking words to better connect sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

For your introduction and conclusion, make sure to restate the topic and clearly present your standpoint. In your conclusion, succinctly summarize your main points to reinforce your argument.

coherence cohesion

Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. Detailed examples help illustrate your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.

task achievement

Address the prompt completely by discussing both sides of the argument, which you have done. However, make sure to articulate your position more clearly and maintain a consistent viewpoint throughout your essay.

task achievement

Develop your ideas fully by explaining how and why making sugary products more expensive would impact consumers' choices and health. Include more comprehensive analysis and a wider range of arguments to strengthen your response.

task achievement

Although you provided an example with soda consumption among low-income individuals, aim to include more diverse and relevant examples to support your points. This will help to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and improve your score.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Write a letter to a book store manager who is living in another city. Ask him/her to make available a book that you are interested in. In your letter, you should tell: – What book you are looking for? – Why you need this book? – How you plan to purchase the book?

You have just won two tickets to a concert and want to invite your friend to go with you. Write a letter to your friend. In the letter: give details about the concert describe how you won the tickets explain why you have chosen your friend to go with you

Many people try to create a balance between their professional life and their personal life. However, very few are able to achieve such a balance. What problems stop people from achieving a work-life balance? How can these problems be overcome?