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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#three #show #changes #uk #school #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The pie chart indicates the yearly spending
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
school
 by
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom in 2 decades. There are 5
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
 which are mentioned here that what kind of stuff
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 used in
school
 to better education. During these two decades, the
school
 spent the highest amount on teacher's salaries which was between 40% to 50%. In the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1981, 15% of the expenditure was spent on furniture and
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 equipment and after 10 years, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased by 5% and in 2001, their expenditure
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased which was 23%. For that reason, they had to increase expenditure
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 insurance which was 8% in 2001
also
 compared to the past it was increased by 6%. It can be seen that the supporting staff
who's
Correct your spelling
whose
show examples
 salaries were continuously decreased in the past 2 decades.
Money
 was spent on resources like books, 15% of
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
 was spent in 1981 and after 10 years it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased by 5% after a decade compared to 1981,
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
money
Add an article
the money
show examples
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decrased
Correct your spelling
decreased
 by nearly 50%(9%).
To sum up
, it was good that
Correct your spelling
spending
spendig
Correct your spelling
spending
 big amount
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the teacher's salaries
also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
themselves and
Correct article usage
the student
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 and increasing
spent
Correct article usage
the spent
show examples
money
 on furniture was
also
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 for the
school
 reputation.
Submitted by Rachna Academy on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words school, money with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Annual spending
  • Expenditure categories
  • Allocation
  • Trend analysis
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Budget allocation strategy
  • Inflation-adjusted
  • Future implications
  • Educational institutions
  • Technological resources
  • Maintenance and operations
  • Comparative analysis
  • Fiscal management
  • Resource allocation
  • Strategic planning
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