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Band 5

The best way to make the road transport of goods safer is to ask drivers to take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#road #transport #goods #drivers #test #year
Annual
Correct article usage
An annual
show examples
 driving license is required for
drivers
 as some people argue that it is the best method to increase the safety in transporting goods.
This
 essay disagrees with
this
 argument because it is neither efficient nor a substantial solution. The
Main
Fix capitalization
main
show examples
 reason for disagreement is far from efficiency in taking a yearly test for
drivers
. It seems irrational to conduct it because the bill paid to the license authorities is too expensive,
experiencing
Verb problem
causing
show examples
 an unbalance
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the expected output. Hardly do people imagine the total amount prepared to undergo that burdensome assessment, especially for the low economic families,
which
Change preposition
for which
show examples
 the test takers must spend Rp. 150,000 as an example in Indonesia. The expense
also
 underlies the entire sophisticated technical preparation done by the Police. The higher the frequency
to get
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
 the license, the more money must be spent by the government and the citizens. Another empirical reason underlying
this
 argument is that the annual average skill of transporters is not a raw problem risking the security of goods. As researchers said, scarcely do the capability
in driving
Change preposition
to drive
show examples
 vehicles
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
 in the period of a year.
However
, the
drivers
 generally are able to sustain their expertise to utilize many vehicles for more than 15 years.
For example
, a survey from the Department of Transportation in the governorate of East Java concluded that
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
47 of 50
drivers
 can maintain their stability to drive throughout their adolescence and adulthood. It means that
never is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
retaking those kinds of procedures as argued be a viable solution.
To conclude
, taking a driving test each year is not the best way to make the road transport of goods safer.
This
 writing stays in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disagreement
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the topic in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of efficiency and
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
accuracy
to solve
Change preposition
in solving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems.
Submitted by yaqzhanelkiya01 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, make sure that each paragraph clearly connects to your thesis statement and that transitions between paragraphs are smooth. Avoid jumping from one idea to another without clear connections.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction would benefit from a clearer paraphrasing of the question and a more explicit thesis statement that outlines the direction of your essay. The conclusion should restate your position and summarize the main points without introducing new information.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure you fully address the prompt by presenting a balanced consideration of the topic and directly responding to all parts of the question. You could enhance your argument by acknowledging potential benefits of yearly testing before refuting them.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your argument, make sure that all main points are fully supported by specific and relevant examples or data. This means you may need to elaborate more on your examples or choose stronger, case-specific instances that back up your claims.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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