Some people believe the purpose of education should be helping the individual to become useful for society, while others believe it should help individuals to achieve their ambition. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Undobtedly
, the Correct your spelling
Undoubtedly
school
is a place which prepares individuals for adult life. Therefore
, there have been many voices that its main purpose should be helping people to become successful as well as
to achieve their dreams. At the same time, however
, others claim that its
the most significant role is socialisation. Each of these views has both pros and cons.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
School
contributes to Add an article
The school
creation
of social bonds. First and foremost, Add an article
the creation
kids
learn how to live with one another there. Usually, except of
Change preposition
at
the
Correct article usage
apply
school
, children
do not spend time in such
large groups, thus
, it is a place where they have to understand and get to know how to function with other people, consequently
becoming a part of the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Furthermore
, they are teached
how to be useful. It means that they are shown how a citizen should live, Correct your spelling
taught
for example
, to find a job, settle a family, and raise his children
- school
contributes to this
by
particular subjects Change preposition
through
such
as 'social education'.
On the other hand
, the school
is also
a place which enables achieving dreams and ambition
. What is the most relevant, the lessons should encourage Fix the agreement mistake
ambitions
children
to study. During the school
years not only do kids
explore the
new fields of study, but Correct article usage
apply
also
their plans of
Change preposition
for
the
future Change the word
their
dream-job
Correct your spelling
dream job
create
, Wrong verb form
are created
therefore
, in order to achieve it, their motivation increases. In addition
, the school
offers many developing programs for talented kids
which can boost their skills. A plethora of the
study competitions or Correct article usage
apply
turnaments
is presented which can have a positive impact on the development of the individuals who take part in them.
In conclusion, in my opinion, the main Correct your spelling
tournaments
tournament
puropse
of Correct your spelling
purpose
school
is helping individuals become useful for society. Although
it encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
children
to development
and achieve their dreams, its Replace the word
develop
the
most significant goal is to socialise people and Correct article usage
apply
learn
Verb problem
teach
kids
how to function withc
each other.Correct your spelling
with
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Try to improve sentence structure. There are some sentences that could be more concise and clear.
Add more specific examples to strengthen your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
Improve the grammatical accuracy. For instance, check for incorrect verb forms and subject-verb agreement.
introduction conclusion present highlight
Good introduction and conclusion, which are clear and coherent.
complete response highlight
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced discussion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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