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Band 5.5

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on the society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

#people #violence #television #computer #games #effect #society #factors #influence #behaviour
The contentious issue of whether
violence
 depicted in
television
 programs and computer
games
 adversely affects
society
 has sparked heated debates.
While
 some contend that
such
 depictions do not influence
individuals
 negatively, I am of the firm conviction that they indeed have detrimental effects. In my view,
exposure
 to
violence
 in
television
 and computer
games
 desensitizes
individuals
 to violent acts and fosters aggressive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Repeated
exposure
 to violent imagery can lead to desensitization to violent
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. Through constant
exposure
 to
such
 content,
individuals
 may develop a decreased sensitivity to the real-life repercussions of
violence
, perceiving it as normal.
This
 can result in a desensitized response when confronted with actual violent situations.
In particular
,
individuals
 who partake in violent video
games
 are more inclined to display aggressive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 towards others.
Moreover
,
exposure
 to
violence
 in the
media
 can directly contribute to increased aggression in
individuals
. Children who are exposed to violent
media
 are more susceptible to engaging in physical altercations or adopting bullying
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
For example
, studies have shown that children who watch violent
television
 programs are more likely to exhibit aggressive conduct compared to those who do not consume
such
 content.
While
 some argue that
individuals
 possess the ability to differentiate between reality and fiction, empirical research indicates that
exposure
 to violent
media
 can exacerbate aggressive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 in certain
individuals
.
Additionally
, the fact that the majority of people do not engage in violent
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 after being exposed to violent
media
 does not negate its adverse impact on
society
. In conclusion,
exposure
 to
violence
 in
television
 and computer
games
 has a detrimental impact on
society
 as it desensitizes
individuals
 to
violence
 and promotes aggressive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. It is imperative for parents and guardians to monitor the
media
 content their children consume,
while
society
 as a whole must recognize the potential harm of violent
media
. Failing to take action risks perpetuating a culture of
violence
.
Submitted by nataly280480 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to improve flow.
Task Achievement
Presented argument effectively with a clear opinion. Incorporate a wider range of examples to support main points for greater impact.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • desensitize
  • catalyst
  • predisposed
  • harmless outlet
  • distinguish
  • controlled environments
  • empirical research
  • minimal or no direct correlation
  • socio-economic status
  • predisposition
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