Some people think that only the government can make significant changes in society, while others think that individuals can have a lot of influence. What is your opinion?
Nowadays, some individuals believe that only the states can make
a relevant changes
in the world, whilst others believe that Correct the article-noun agreement
relevant changes
a relevant change
people
can have the most influence. In my opinion, both are important to do the changes that the society need
to, because is a complement between public Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
policy
and the people
.
The governments
has the power to Fix the agreement mistake
government
decided
, which are the best public policies to implement in the countries, because of can Change the form of the verb
decide
do
different actions to build and develop Verb problem
take
this
public Correct determiner usage
these
policy
in areas Fix the agreement mistake
policies
as
education, health, jobs, public Correct quantifier usage
such as
transports
, Fix the agreement mistake
transport
pensions
, so is necessary for governments keep on Correct word choice
and pensions
this
subjects. Furthermore
, the countries can invest in new public services as
Hospital, educational Correct quantifier usage
such as
centers
and new public transport, and that have an important change in the life of Change the spelling
centres
people
for instance
, a new public policy
in the area of transport that the government need to every bus in the city is a
electric bus, and with Change the article
an
that
the city can decrease the pollution in the city.
Add a comma
that,
On the other hand
, the people
have a strong influence because, the opinion of individuals is relevant to develop not only public policy
and public services, moreover
, to build a high society with valors
and principles that respect, loyalty with Correct your spelling
values
a
Change the article
an
excellence
education, and for that the Replace the word
excellent
people
need to do organized with social leaders in the world as a president of company
, but Add an article
the company
also
with social leaders in organizations that don¨t find money, look for a lives
in a country without pollution or with the protection of animals, Correct the article-noun agreement
life
for
example
the director of Add the comma(s)
example,
a
organization not Change the article
an
gubernamental
that protect the environment.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
governmental
the
governments and Correct article usage
apply
people
have a strong influences
, because is a complement between both, and with Correct the article-noun agreement
a strong influence
strong influences
a
Correct article usage
apply
excelent
communication the Correct your spelling
excellent
people
can feel safe, with opportunities and support from the government.Submitted by niconoman on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that you structure your essay clearly with an introduction, at least two main body paragraphs and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from the one before.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of linking devices to connect ideas and paragraphs, rather than repetitive conjunctions. Try to vary your language, using synonyms and complex sentence structures.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples. General statements are good as opening sentences, but they need to be followed by detailed and relevant examples that support your point of view.
Task Achievement
For a higher score, present your ideas more comprehensively. Elaborate on both views before concluding with your own, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic. Avoid general speech and ensure that your personal standpoint is evident throughout the essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and typos to ensure clarity and precision in expression. Use a range of grammatical structures and vocabulary accurately to convey your ideas more effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.