Some people think that illegal Internet downloads are having a negative effect on the music industry. Others feel that they have little or no impact on artists. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The
music
industry
has changed vastly since the golden days of Beethoven and Mozart. With the rapid growth of the
internet
and smartphones, listening to
music
has become easier than ever.
Instead
of having to attend concerts, listeners can just plug their headphones into a smartphone and listen to
music
online.
While
this
has its fair share of benefits, record labels have been hesitant to expand into the online
music
industry
since it has various drawbacks, including
piracy
issues
and monetization. In
this
essay, I will discuss the aforementioned
issues
as well as
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
my own opinion. On one hand, the explosive growth of online
music
websites has made it exponentially harder for record labels and
artists
to control and monetize their work. These people are concerned that as the
internet
music
industry
grows, so do the
piracy
issues
.
This
may cause everyone to copy each other, making
music
seem unoriginal and uninterested. It can
also
discourage
artists
to produce
Change preposition
from producing
show examples
and
release
Wrong verb form
releasing
show examples
music
, as there are no ways for them to ensure that their
music
is being used as they intended
as well as
controlling where their works are being published.
Overall
, illegal
Internet
downloads
can have negative effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
artists
and the
music
industry
as a whole.
On the other hand
, having the ability to publish
music
on the
internet
- where millions of users are actively using and discussing every day - has helped new
artists
get discovered and grow.
Moreover
, the growth of
music
piracy
has pushed streaming platforms to take extra steps to prevent illegal
downloads
. It's not hard to understand why in the early 2000s, record labels and
artists
were trying to take down
music
streaming platforms that were allowing users to download
music
freely and distribute it wherever they please. The most notable case of
this
is perhaps Napster, as
this
platform was taken down after a huge wave of protests to protect the rights of composers. Because of
this
, most streaming platforms like Spotify and Apple
Music
include features that help
artists
control their
music
distribution and monetization.
Therefore
, it's almost impossible to pirate
music
now, unlike in the 2000s. To summarize, illegal
Internet
downloads
can and have caused a ton of
issues
regarding
piracy
and monetization, but they helped push the development of tools to ensure these
issues
never happen again.
Therefore
, it's safe to say that illegal
downloads
aren't an issue in the modern world.
Submitted by walker57842 on

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task achievement
Try to address both views more accurately and fully, ensuring that your personal opinion is consistently clear throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to more effectively structure your essay.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to illustrate the impact of illegal downloading on the music industry.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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