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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below gives details of world electricity production by renewable sources in the four years between 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.

The table below gives details of world electricity production by renewable sources in the four years between 2009 and 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and making comparisons where relevant.
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The table depicts
Trillion
Replace the word
the trillion-watt
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 Watt Hours (
TWh
Use synonyms
) of world
electricity
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 from five different renewable energy
sources
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 over the four years between 2009 and 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
, the five energy resources have consistently increased with hydraulics becoming the largest
production
Use synonyms
along
Change preposition
during
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 the given period, followed by wind, biomass, geothermal, and solar respectively. As seen in the table, the most striking
of
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apply
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electricity
Use synonyms
production
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 was hydraulic in 2012 which hit
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peak of 3,663.4
TWh
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 in total;
while
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 Solar became the lowest energy
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sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
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 with only 21
TWh
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production
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 compared with the other
sources
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 during the period. In 2009, hydraulics led the
electricity
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production
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 with 3,329
TWh
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, Wind was
also
Linking Words
 high with 276.4
TWh
Use synonyms
 which was merely 3% with Biomass,
while
Linking Words
 the geothermal 67.4
TWh
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 and solar 21
TWh
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 at the rest.
In
Change preposition
From
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 2010 until the end of the period, hydraulic was still in the top position followed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others like wind and solar became the most noticeable because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity
Use synonyms
production
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 sharply increased
more
Change preposition
by more
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 than 100% in order. Geothermal and biomass show
the
Correct article usage
a
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 steady increase, being left behind by the other
sources
Use synonyms
, which only increased
1
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
% and 20% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words twh, electricity, production, sources with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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