Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion

#people #factors #child’s #development #television #friends #music

It is argued that TV,

freinds

Correct your spelling

friends

and songs have become important aspects of a

child

's development, recently.

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some people have the understanding that family should always come first and be of

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great significance in a

child

's growth.

This

essay will discuss both these views and will present my opinion

at the end

Tvs

Correct your spelling

TVs

show examples

are considered important as they have become a source of

knowldege

Correct your spelling

knowledge

for

children

these days. Information from all over the world is telecasted on TV programmes, movies and series.

For example

, my nephew has a very good general knowledge as he watches

news

Add an article

the news

show examples

with his father in the evenings on a regular basis.

Thus

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

in general awareness has made Tvs popular and vital in the development of a

child

On the other hand

, family is important as they are the ones who provide

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

food and send

children

to school. They work and earn so that their

children

can have

better

Correct article usage

a better

show examples

education and live a good life. To illustrate, my parents sponsored my university fees in Canada without any second thought. They want the best for me even though they did not live their lives to the fullest.

Thus

, the sacrifices that families make for a

child

's growth

makes

Correct subject-verb agreement

make

show examples

them important.

To conclude

, I believe that both TVs, friends,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

music, and family are significant.

Children

should just understand the importance of these in their lives.

Submitted by grvkumarsingh1 on Fri Jan 19 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. Aim for clarity in expressing your point of view.

task achievement

Develop your main points more fully with detailed explanations and more specific examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow of information and ideas throughout your essay.

coherence cohesion

Be careful with spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Ensure that your verb tenses are consistent and that your sentences are well-constructed.

task achievement

Your conclusion should not introduce new points. It should summarize your arguments and restate your opinion clearly and persuasively.

coherence cohesion

Strive for diversity in sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

232 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion

Word Count

Some people believe that the main benefit of international cooperation is the protection of the environment, while others think that the main benefits are in the world of business. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Just like the government spends funds on music and theatre, it does the same on arts too which is considered a waste of money. Don’t you think that the government should spend more on revamping public services? Do you agree? If not, then why?

Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people feel that the private lives of celebrities should not be openly shared by the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people feel that manufacturers and supermarket have the responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging of goods. Others argue that customers should avoid buying goods with a lot of packing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.