Some people say that in all levels of education, frm primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills.

I believe that
put
Wrong verb form
putting
show examples
too much
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
system
to
Change preposition
for
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the
students
is true for theoretical
studies
. But
educational
Add an article
the educational
show examples
system
is not at all
focusing
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
on practical
skills
. I agree that
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
show examples
system
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
not considered
the
Correct article usage
apply
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practical
skills
/
studies
while
Correct word choice
when
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compared to theoretical
studies
. In my opinion, if
students
are taught theoretical
studies
with no practice or practical knowledge there would not be an effective l;earning.
As a result
, a practice or practical knowledge/
skills
has to
add
Wrong verb form
be added
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
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a teaching or an educational
system
.
For example
,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
students
should learn theoretical
studies
like mathematics
mean
Verb problem
apply
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while
the
students
should learn to use their mathematical or theoretical
skills
to manage finance.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
the
students
should get motivation from teachers. So it helps
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to know the money value and their
studies
.
On the other hand
, Some people
no
Verb problem
do not
show examples
need to learn practical
studies
. During educational years, the
students
have to focus on theories and factual
studies
. In
other case
Change the wording
another case
other cases
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
primary schools to colleges/universities have to teach factual
studies
and
also
should have factual
studies
in their educational
system
.
Then
only they can learn theories
along with
practical classes.
For example
, the learning periods should give confidence to face mathematical
skills
at any stage. Accounting management or managing finance companies has to cooperate with people to utilize the
skills
by learning/teaching maths in
theoretical
Add an article
a theoretical
the theoretical
show examples
way
as well as
practical
Add an article
a practical
show examples
way with more practice. In conclusion,
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
although
, parents,teachers and trainers are responsible for
to teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
/
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
practical knowledge/facts to children. The government has to set goals to achieve good
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
by learning practical
studies
. In our education
system
, both theoretical and practical
studies
should be present by fact
such
as factual
studies
with a life goal.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, each serving a distinct purpose. The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic. The body should develop your argument with supporting details and examples. The conclusion should effectively summarize your points and restate your position.
cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should clearly follow from the previous one, with a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument. Use cohesive devices such as linking words to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
development
Improve on developing your main points. For each claim you make, provide relevant examples or evidence to support your ideas. Make sure these examples are specific and directly related to the point you are trying to convey.
task response
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Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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