Some people say that in all levels of education, frm primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills.

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I believe that
put
Wrong verb form
putting
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too much
efforts
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effort
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on
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into
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educational
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the educational
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system
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to
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for
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the
students
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is true for theoretical
studies
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. But
educational
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the educational
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system
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is not at all
focusing
Wrong verb form
focused
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on practical
skills
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. I agree that
educational
Correct article usage
the educational
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system
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have
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has
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not considered
the
Correct article usage
apply
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practical
skills
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/
studies
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Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
when
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compared to theoretical
studies
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. In my opinion, if
students
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are taught theoretical
studies
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with no practice or practical knowledge there would not be an effective l;earning.
As a result
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, a practice or practical knowledge/
skills
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has to
add
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be added
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in
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to
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a teaching or an educational
system
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.
For example
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,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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students
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should learn theoretical
studies
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like mathematics
mean
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apply
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while
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the
students
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should learn to use their mathematical or theoretical
skills
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to manage finance.
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Also
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Also,
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the
students
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should get motivation from teachers. So it helps
to
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apply
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children
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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to know the money value and their
studies
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.
On the other hand
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, Some people
no
Verb problem
do not
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need to learn practical
studies
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. During educational years, the
students
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have to focus on theories and factual
studies
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. In
other case
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another case
other cases
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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primary schools to colleges/universities have to teach factual
studies
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and
also
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should have factual
studies
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in their educational
system
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.
Then
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only they can learn theories
along with
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practical classes.
For example
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, the learning periods should give confidence to face mathematical
skills
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at any stage. Accounting management or managing finance companies has to cooperate with people to utilize the
skills
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by learning/teaching maths in
theoretical
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a theoretical
the theoretical
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way
as well as
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practical
Add an article
a practical
show examples
way with more practice. In conclusion,
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apply
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although
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, parents,teachers and trainers are responsible for
to teach
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teaching
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/
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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practical knowledge/facts to children. The government has to set goals to achieve good
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
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by learning practical
studies
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. In our education
system
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, both theoretical and practical
studies
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should be present by fact
such
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as factual
studies
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with a life goal.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, each serving a distinct purpose. The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic. The body should develop your argument with supporting details and examples. The conclusion should effectively summarize your points and restate your position.
cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should clearly follow from the previous one, with a clear topic sentence that guides the reader through your argument. Use cohesive devices such as linking words to connect ideas within and across paragraphs.
development
Improve on developing your main points. For each claim you make, provide relevant examples or evidence to support your ideas. Make sure these examples are specific and directly related to the point you are trying to convey.
task response
Ensure that your essay fully responds to all parts of the task. You should address the prompt directly and develop your response thoroughly. Use the prompt to guide the structure of your essay and make sure you cover all necessary aspects.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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