Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt that
provery
Correct your spelling
poverty
property
has increased around the globe. Developed
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
are financially supporting to poor
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
, arguably, which is not sufficient to tackle
this
issue. a faction of people holds the notion that rich
nations
should extend their
support
other than
finance
Correct article usage
the finance
show examples
sector. I strongly
agree
Add the preposition
agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
view as there are ample
resons
Correct your spelling
reasons
to
sbustantiate
Correct your spelling
substantiate
it. First and foremost, the financial
aide
Correct your spelling
aid
show examples
provided by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
external sources
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
often not reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the bottom level of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
due to
corruption.
In other words
, unsurprisingly, since several poor
nations
have
immense
Change the word
immensely
show examples
corrupted government systems, the money
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provided to
support
for public would not
be reach
Change the verb form
reach
show examples
the society.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
recent study by Harvard University indicated that 70% of financial
aide
Correct your spelling
aid
show examples
by the foreign fund will not be utilized for the intended purpose.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational, scientific and development
support
is necessary to
imporve
Correct your spelling
improve
the condition of undeveloped countries. The
foregin
Correct your spelling
foreign
government should take
initiative
Correct article usage
the initiative
show examples
to provide better quality education rather than providing financial
support
.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
infrastructure development is one of the obvious
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
in undeveloped countries. the rich
nations
have better technology to build infrastructure .
Providng
Correct your spelling
Providing
this
technology would help to develop public buildings and roads in these
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
.
For example
, the
ready to install
Add a hyphen
ready-to-install
show examples
concrete building is more strong and easy to install.
Similarly
, unemployment is another vital issue
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
these
nations
. the developed countries could help them to build industries which would produce more employment. In conclusion, the rich nation's financial
aide
Correct your spelling
aid
show examples
would not reach for purpose, ergo, the
support
for educational, infrastructural and industrial development will be beneficial. In my view, the developed
nations
should extend their
support
to
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
areas.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting sentences are directly related to this main idea. Use topic sentences effectively.
coherence cohesion
Work on logical structure by planning your essay to ensure a logical flow from introduction to conclusion. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
task achievement
Elaborate on your points with more detailed examples. While you provide some examples, more specificity would strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Be attentive to spelling, vocabulary, and grammatical errors, as these can disrupt the clarity of your ideas and affect coherence. Proofreading can help reduce these mistakes.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt and provide a clear opinion throughout the essay. Your conclusion should restate your view and summarize your main points.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!