Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that
provery
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poverty
property
has increased around the globe. Developed
contries
Correct your spelling
countries
are financially supporting to poor
contries
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countries
, arguably, which is not sufficient to tackle
this
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issue. a faction of people holds the notion that rich
nations
Use synonyms
should extend their
support
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other than
finance
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the finance
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sector. I strongly
agree
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agree on
agree to
agree with
show examples
this
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view as there are ample
resons
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reasons
to
sbustantiate
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substantiate
it. First and foremost, the financial
aide
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aid
show examples
provided by
the
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apply
show examples
external sources
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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often not reach
to
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apply
show examples
the bottom level of
the
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apply
show examples
society
due to
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corruption.
In other words
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, unsurprisingly, since several poor
nations
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have
immense
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immensely
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corrupted government systems, the money
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
provided to
support
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for public would not
be reach
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reach
show examples
the society.
For example
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,
the
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a
show examples
recent study by Harvard University indicated that 70% of financial
aide
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aid
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by the foreign fund will not be utilized for the intended purpose.
Therefore
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,
the
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apply
show examples
educational, scientific and development
support
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is necessary to
imporve
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improve
the condition of undeveloped countries. The
foregin
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foreign
government should take
initiative
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the initiative
show examples
to provide better quality education rather than providing financial
support
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.
Furthermore
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,
the
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apply
show examples
infrastructure development is one of the obvious
problem
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problems
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in undeveloped countries. the rich
nations
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have better technology to build infrastructure .
Providng
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Providing
this
Linking Words
technology would help to develop public buildings and roads in these
countires
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countries
.
For example
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, the
ready to install
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ready-to-install
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concrete building is more strong and easy to install.
Similarly
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, unemployment is another vital issue
of
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in
show examples
these
nations
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. the developed countries could help them to build industries which would produce more employment. In conclusion, the rich nation's financial
aide
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aid
show examples
would not reach for purpose, ergo, the
support
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for educational, infrastructural and industrial development will be beneficial. In my view, the developed
nations
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should extend their
support
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to
above
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the above
show examples
areas.

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Work on logical structure by planning your essay to ensure a logical flow from introduction to conclusion. Use a range of cohesive devices to link ideas within and across paragraphs.
task achievement
Elaborate on your points with more detailed examples. While you provide some examples, more specificity would strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
Be attentive to spelling, vocabulary, and grammatical errors, as these can disrupt the clarity of your ideas and affect coherence. Proofreading can help reduce these mistakes.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the prompt and provide a clear opinion throughout the essay. Your conclusion should restate your view and summarize your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • economic inequality
  • developing nations
  • foreign aid
  • sustainable growth
  • technical assistance
  • expertise
  • infrastructure
  • education
  • fair trade
  • trade barriers
  • sustainable development
  • environmental conservation
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