the pie charts show The percentage of the working day adults spend doing difference activities in a country in 1958 and 2008.

the pie charts show The percentage of the working day adults spend doing difference activities in a country in 1958 and 2008.
The chart illustrates the
number
of different
activities
that
adults
do during the working
day
in 1958 and 2008.
Overall
, relaxing at home, sleeping, travelling to work, going out with friends or family, and doing other interests or playing sports were several
activities
that
adults
did
besides
working a
day
. The largest gap
number
between
activities
that
adults
did in 1958 and 2008 was going out with friends or family. In 1958, the most
activities
that
adults
did in a
day
was sleeping, with the
number
32%. Working was the second activity that had a large percentage with the
number
33%. The rare
activities
that
people
did in 1958 were travel to work and relaxing at home.
Furthermore
, in
this
year only 6% of
people
who play sport in the working
day
.
This
is very different from the condition in 2008. In 2008,
people
mostly worked during the
day
rather than sleeping. The percentage of sleeping was decreased by 7% from the percentage in 1958.
Besides
that,
this
year,
people
rarely hung out with their friends or family and did more often sports
activities
than in 1958, with the
number
8%.
Submitted by zahra.ghaisanis on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides".
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, activities, adults, day, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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