the pie charts show The percentage of the working day adults spend doing difference activities in a country in 1958 and 2008.

#show #percentage #adults #difference #activities #country

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The chart illustrates the

number

Use synonyms

of different

activities

Use synonyms

that

adults

Use synonyms

do during the working

day

Use synonyms

in 1958 and 2008.

Overall

Linking Words

, relaxing at home, sleeping, travelling to work, going out with friends or family, and doing other interests or playing sports were several

activities

Use synonyms

that

adults

Use synonyms

did

besides

Linking Words

working a

day

Use synonyms

. The largest gap

number

Use synonyms

between

activities

Use synonyms

that

adults

Use synonyms

did in 1958 and 2008 was going out with friends or family. In 1958, the most

activities

Use synonyms

that

adults

Use synonyms

did in a

day

Use synonyms

was sleeping, with the

number

Use synonyms

32%. Working was the second activity that had a large percentage with the

number

Use synonyms

33%. The rare

activities

Use synonyms

that

people

Use synonyms

did in 1958 were travel to work and relaxing at home.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

year only 6% of

people

Use synonyms

who play sport in the working

day

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is very different from the condition in 2008. In 2008,

people

Use synonyms

mostly worked during the

day

Use synonyms

rather than sleeping. The percentage of sleeping was decreased by 7% from the percentage in 1958.

Besides

Linking Words

that,

this

Linking Words

year,

people

Use synonyms

rarely hung out with their friends or family and did more often sports

activities

Use synonyms

than in 1958, with the

number

Use synonyms

8%.

Submitted by zahra.ghaisanis on Fri Jan 19 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "besides".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words number, activities, adults, day, people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

191 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
: Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
The issue of crime resonates deeply with many individuals. While some attribute criminal behavior to inherent flaws in individuals, others including myself believe that it primarily stems from poverty and social challenges.
4
band
Many people think that increasing business and cultural contacts between countries is a positive development. However, others believe that these are leading to the loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Many people believe that business and cultural contacts between countries is positive, while others believe that countries loss their national identities because of globalization. I personally believe that while cultural and business contacts between countries do not let countries celebrating their traditions, it is a positive development because countries can protect each in others' traditions and culture.
<4
band
In future all cars will be driverless cars, in your opinion are advantages outweigh disadvantages?
The line graph presents the amount of single-family homes were built in the US by region from 2006 to 2012. There was a significant difference in the number of houses builtin each region. The highest numbers of houses in Northeast region was built in 2006 it was 180.000, the same situation with South region, because the highest number of houses during this period was built in 2006 (900.000). Based on table data, since 2006, there has been an active decline in the construction of new houses. In the southern region there has been a noticeable increase since 2010, while the northern region continues to decline. In West region the number of houses started to grow, while in Midwest region the amount of houses in 2010 and 2012 stay the same(100.000). In comparision the fewest hoses built in the North region and the highest in the South. Most likely this was caused by the climatic conditions of the regions.
4.5
band
Some people believe that climate change has the greatest effect on people’s way of life. Others believe the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It was argued that nowadays climate change has the biggest impact on people's living style, while somes are argued the economy has the most sinificant effect. In this essay, it will delve into both sides of argument of the above statement.
<4
band
the money spent by goverenment on space programmes would e better spent on vitl public services such asschool and hospitals.To what extend do you agree or disagree.
Goverenment in some countries spend large amounts of money on space exploration programmes.I completely agree with the idea that these are a waste of money , and that the funds should be allocated to public services.

the pie charts show The percentage of the working day adults spend doing difference activities in a country in 1958 and 2008.

: Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Many people think that increasing business and cultural contacts between countries is a positive development. However, others believe that these are leading to the loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In future all cars will be driverless cars, in your opinion are advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people believe that climate change has the greatest effect on people’s way of life. Others believe the economy of the region has the greatest effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

the money spent by goverenment on space programmes would e better spent on vitl public services such asschool and hospitals.To what extend do you agree or disagree.