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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about the value (NZ$) of exports of kiwi fruit from New Zealand to five countries between 2010 and 2012.

The table below gives information about the value (NZ$) of exports of kiwi fruit from New Zealand to five countries between 2010 and 2012.
The table illustrates the
amount
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 of exports of
kiwi
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fruit
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 from New
Zealand
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 to several countries in 2010, 2011, and 2012. In general, Japan, China, Mexico, Russia, and Saudi
Arabia
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 were the countries that import
kiwi
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fruit
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 from New
Zealand
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. The highest
amout
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amount
 of
export
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 that New
Zealand
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 did was in 2012 with the
amount
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od
Correct your spelling
of
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export
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was
Wrong verb form
being
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 $325,300,000 to Japan.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the lowest
amount
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 of
export
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 happened in the same year with
total
Correct article usage
a total
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$
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of $
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82.000 to Saudi
Arabia
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.
In every
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Every
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 year, New
Zealand
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did
Unnecessary verb
apply
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 huge
kiwi
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fruit
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export
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 to Japan with the number $271,100,000 in 2010, $287,400,000 in 2011, and $325,300,000 in 2012. The second country that has the top
amount
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 of
kiwi
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 fruits
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export
Wrong verb form
exported
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was
Wrong verb form
is
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 China. The highest
amount
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 happened in 2012 with the number $94,000,000.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 2010,
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
kiwi
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fruit
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export
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 from New
Zealand
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 to Mexico was $6,000,000 and it became the highest
amount
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 during the
export
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 activity to Mexico. Meanwhile, Russia and Saudi
Arabia
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 always
be
Wrong verb form
been
show examples
 the countries that have low value of exports. In 2010, the
amount
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 of
kiwi
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fruit
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Use synonyms
export
Wrong verb form
exported
show examples
 from New
Zealand
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 to Russia was only $968,000.
In addition
Linking Words
, the total
amount
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 of
kiwi
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fruit
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Use synonyms
export
Wrong verb form
exported
show examples
 from New
Zealand
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 to Saudia
Arabia
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 became the lowest
amount
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 in New
Zealand
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export
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 activity.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, kiwi, fruit, zealand, arabia, export with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 9 times.
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