IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is difficult for many people to create a balance between their professional and their personal life. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#people #balance #life
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Many professionals struggle to find enough
time
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 to spend with their family and friends
together with
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 doing their
work
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on
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in
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proper
Add an article
a proper
the proper
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 way,
this
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 is because of many reasons
one
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off
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of
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 them is poor
time
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 management which
an
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can
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 be solved by creating a
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time
Correct your spelling
timetable
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table
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 to stay organized and do not miss out the family important days. On
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one
Correct article usage
the one
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 poor
time
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 management is
one
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 of the causes of
this
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 situation , as working people are
sometime
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sometimes
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 under a lot of pressure
do
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to
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 take some of the assigned
task
Change to a plural noun
tasks
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 with them home to finish it ,
also
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 some would stay at the office after the end of their shift to do some extra
work
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 means taking
time
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 from their own family
time
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 so by the
time
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 they got home they always feel tired and low mode to join their family activities .
for example
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, my friend`s mother works as a doctor, and she always
finish
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finishes
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 behind her shift finishing
time
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. But thanks
Fix the infinitive
to god
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god
Change preposition
to god
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this
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 problem could be solved using effective ways like creating a
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Correct your spelling
timetable
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time
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timetable
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table
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 and
Wrong verb form
sticking
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stick
Wrong verb form
sticking
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 to it at all
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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cost
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costs
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, by having a
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Correct your spelling
timetable
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time
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timetable
show examples
table
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 you become more organized can look at all your day-to-day responsibilities and
fund
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find
show examples
 out how much
time
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 you have left so you can arrange your remand hours
accordingly
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 and be more present to your family at different occasions.
for instance
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, my
fiend
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friend
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 has a child, and she has a calendar with all important days, so she won’t miss them out including her son`s birthday. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 a lot find it hard to keep stable on both
work
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 and family
commitment
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commitments
show examples
 as well,
this
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 problem is because of
time
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 management challenges and
luck
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lack
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 of
time
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 for family members, but there is may solution for
this
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 problem
one
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 of them is to create a
time
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table
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 to fits
work
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 and personal life.
Submitted by hebadyala on

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Task Response
To improve Task Achievement, it is critical to directly address the question by clearly stating the causes of the lack of balance between professional and personal life and offering specific solutions. Elaborate on these points with clear examples and full development of ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, it is essential to organize the essay into clear paragraphs, each with a central idea. Use cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the essay's topic and the conclusion summarizes the points made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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