in many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or a negative trend?

These days,
individuals
who live in cities prefer to live alone or build a small family. In my opinion,
this
trend is more negative than positive as
such
individuals
have to deal with some difficulties in their lives. Despite the fact that living alone leads
individuals
to acquire autonomy, self-discovery, and personal growth, it might have some
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
which everyone cannot cope them.
One
of the main disadvantages is that there is no
one
to share duties with
such
as cleaning, taking out the trash, paying bills, and doing shopping.
Thus
, they should allocate more time and energy to do household chores. Another downside of
this
trend is that in the long term, people might end up with depression as there is no potential roommate to
cheers
Wrong verb form
cheer
show examples
them up when get through the hard
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.
Therefore
, the lack of company makes them feel isolated or lonely.
Also
, these
individuals
would face the hassle of
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
cost of living as there is no
one
to share
expenditure
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
show examples
with.
For instance
, my sister is living in a small apartment and she does not have a roommate so she had to spend a great deal of money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
the decoration, furniture, and appliances which could become easier to purchase if she
lives
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
with someone else. Nowadays, women and men prefer to have a small family with a child.
this
decision not only can affect negatively parents but
also
children.
To begin
with, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
no siblings to play with Someone who is the only offspring in a family.
Due to
this
they might sometimes feel loneliness and blame their parents for it.
Secondly
, Parents try to provide everything from
cheapest
Correct article usage
the cheapest
show examples
toys to the most expensive
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
for their
alone
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
children to fill the lack of siblings.
This
action not only may cause them to bring up spoilt but
also
increase their expectations from fathers and mothers.
Thus
, these problems often increase
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
pricy consultation. In conclusion, I believe that having a small family and living solitary are challenging, and you have to work hard to earn more money to be able to meet high expenses.
Submitted by kmibehnaz98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure to address both sides of the argument in a balanced way and provide a clear opinion. Expand on specific examples to illustrate your points.
Task Achievement
Develop your arguments further to add depth to the essay and provide more specific examples that are directly related to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance coherence by connecting ideas more smoothly and using a range of linking words. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve cohesion, maintain a consistent use of pronouns and demonstratives to refer back to previously mentioned ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: