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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The picture below shows the recycling process of wasted glass bottles. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#picture #process #glass #bottles #information #features #comparisons
The diagram illustrates how the consumed and wasted
glass
 bottles are recycled. The
process
 consists of three stages which
beginning
Wrong verb form
begin
show examples
 with collection hubs and
then
 processing and
ending
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
 with returning to factories and superkets. The
process
 begins with the collection points
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 all materials that have been
throwed
Correct your spelling
thrown
show examples
 away are planned to be aggregated in a depot as the hub of recycling.
Then
, trucks loaded them to transport them into the
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 related to the second stage. After cleaning the wasted materials by using
high pressure
Add a hyphen
high-pressure
show examples
 water, they
devide
Correct your spelling
divide
decide
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 three clusters in terms of their
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 (brown, green and clear).
following
this
, the bottles undergo the
process
 of
factory
Add an article
the factory
a factory
show examples
 to be crushed as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pieces of
glass
. The
process
 proceeds by melting the
glass
 in the furnace, where the
glass
 is heated to a temperature in the range of 600-800 degrees
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
. The melted
glass
 undergoes to be shaped based on the demands and
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
 the new bottles are sent to the market or factories again.
Submitted by hamidreza.rezaei21 on

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structure
You provided a general overview of the glass bottle recycling process, which is good. However, the essay lacks clear and distinct paragraphs for each stage of the process. Aim for clear paragraphing with each stage of the process discussed separately.
linking
Use a range of linking words and phrases to improve cohesion between stages of the process, such as 'subsequently', 'following this', or 'then'. Try to ensure a smooth flow from one stage to the next.
completeness
To fully complete the task, you should provide a summarization without missing any steps. Ensure that you mention all parts of the process as indicated in the diagram.
clarity
Work on providing clearer, more comprehensive descriptions of each part of the process. Use precise vocabulary specific to the process being described.
examples
You have not included any specific examples or data, which would help to support your description of the process. While this task does not necessarily require data, adding any specific examples or measures depicted in the diagram can be beneficial.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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