Completing university is the best way to get a job. while others believe that experience and developing soft skills is more important. discuss both views and give your opinion

Nowadays, in modern society, many people believe that in order to get a good
job
, someone must graduate and have a degree from university. Meanwhile, others believe that
besides
completing and having a degree from a university, experience and soft skills are more needed to secure a good
job
. Both sides will be elaborated on in
this
essay, and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
will present my point of view on
this
issue. On the one hand, it is undeniable that having a degree from higher education makes more easier for
employeer
Correct your spelling
employees
to find a
job
since many employees or companies put it as the top main requirement for applying for a
job
in their company.
Submitted by Deddymus on

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Task Achievement
The introduction is incomplete as it lacks a clear thesis statement, which should indicate the direction of the essay and provide a succinct summary of the writer's main points. To improve task achievement, ensure that your introduction clearly states whether you will discuss both views equally or if you will favor one. Also, include a clear opinion on the issue in your introduction, to allow for a complete response to the essay question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overall coherence could be improved by organizing your ideas more clearly. Consider using paragraphing to your advantage to present each view in a separate paragraph with clear topic sentences. Also, make use of linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument, to improve the logical flow and structure of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • industry-specific skills
  • career services
  • networking opportunities
  • intellectual capability
  • practical experience
  • real-world scenarios
  • soft skills
  • on-the-job experiences
  • portfolio
  • demonstrated skillset
  • formal education credentials
  • company culture
  • academia
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