The increase in crime rate in cities is a major concern for governments. Discuss the causes of this increase and

#crime #rate #cities #concern #governments

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Nowadays, various reasons like financial pressure and some tempting amount of money which can be earned by convicting the

crimes

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can lead to a notable increase in

crime

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rate in

cities

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especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

in metropolitan

cities

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This

Linking Words

essay argues some roots including the financial problems, lack of preventive

rules

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and the role of family.

Then

Linking Words

, some proposed remedies and measures like fundraising for

this

Linking Words

matter

as well as

Linking Words

the roles of parents and government that could be taken into account in order to alleviate

this

Linking Words

problem are presented afterward. In terms of reasons causing

this

Linking Words

pressing problem, the first one to consider is

Correct article usage

the

show examples

reduced circumstances in

cities

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that some families are facing.

In other words

Linking Words

, if poverty is widespread in society, people

in particular

Linking Words

financial responsible

Change preposition

apply

show examples

families are more likely to contemplate

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crime

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, the preventive

rules

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that can decrease the possibility of

crime

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commitment can help. Another intrinsic factor that plays a vital role in

this

Linking Words

detrimental problem is that the lack of paternal guidance and moral guidelines may lead youngsters astray.

Therefore

Linking Words

, rarely can we find a prisoner

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

has been nurtured in a family paying attention to their culture and ethics. To propose some related suggestions, the government not only has to make an effort to alleviate poverty

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

Linking Words

pass some

rules

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and commensurate punishments to deter

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

potential criminals from

convicting

Verb problem

committing

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes

Use synonyms

Also

Linking Words

, the authorities have to raise the funds allocated to the passed

rules

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to ensure

the

Change the word

their

show examples

applicability throughout the

cities

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On the other hand

Linking Words

, families have to set some guidelines to nurture their children.

This

Linking Words

can reduce the possibility of

crime

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commitment.

To conclude

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, it is argued that some financial restrictions may cause

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crimes

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cities

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and the government has the responsibility to cope with them improving the economic situation.

Also

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, the lawmakers have to introduce some

rules

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that put the criminals off the street.

Moreover

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, paying proper attention to the nurturing of young people can lead to a decrease in juvenile

crimes

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Submitted by hamidreza.rezaei21 on Fri Jan 19 2024

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Task Response

Ensure that the introduction provides a clear outline of the topics to be discussed, keeping the focus on the causes of the increase in crime rate, and conclude with a relevant summation.

Task Response

Organize your main points clearly, using separate paragraphs for each cause and solution, and ensure that every point is directly related to the increase in crime rate in cities.

Coherence and Cohesion

Maintain a logical flow throughout your essay. Use appropriate transition words to connect ideas and create a cohesive argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Provide specific examples to support your points. Instead of making general statements, use data, studies, or real-world examples to strengthen your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

334 words

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The increase in crime rate in cities is a major concern for governments. Discuss the causes of this increase and

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

Today people are using the things and throwing or replacing it with latest models or latest fashion. Do the advantages of throwing away society outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factor such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

Some people believe what children watch on TV influences their behavior. Some say it's the amount of time watching television that influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.