IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing, Do you agree or disagree?

#growth #shops #towns #cities
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Nowadays, myriad
people
 tend to buy their needs by ordering online.
Hence
, some
people
 argue that
this
 will lead all the shops in towns to closure. I think closing all the
stores
, because of the development of online purchasing is not realistic. In today's fast-paced world,
time
 plays a crucial role in individuals' lives.
Consequently
, more
people
 are joining the online shopping club daily. In fact, online buying prevents us from
time-consuming
Add a missing verb
being time-consuming
show examples
 both by spending less
time
 in
stores
 and commuting.
For instance
,
although
 we should spend more than 2 hours buying groceries in person, we are able to decrease
this
time
 to just 20 minutes by placing our orders online.
Moreover
, online purchasing allows us to compare prices and shop with better wisdom.
On the other hand
, the shopping is considered as an important leisure
time
 activity. Indeed, many
people
, women
in particular
, do not merely go to the
stores
 to buy stuff but
also
 assume in-store shopping is their favourite pastime.
Furthermore
, there are many folks who like to check the quality of goods and try on garments before ordering them. Needless to say,
this
 attitude has resulted in the development of huge shopping malls all over the world. In conclusion, I believe online shopping is an undeniable step for
time
-saving and
this
 makes it more favourable for more
people
,
however
, shopping itself is a fundamental activity for myriad
people
.
Hence
, closing all the
stores
 because of the evolution of online buying is not considerable.
Submitted by ali on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a view that is relevant to the task, but it should further elaborate on specific reasons why physical shops are unlikely to close. Consider developing more detailed examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, but to enhance coherence, try to make smoother transitions between your paragraphs and ideas. This can be achieved through more varied linking words and clearer topic sentences.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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