Many countries have compulsory military service for men after they leave school. I would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men and possibly women.
Obligatory military
service
is often seen in a conflict-prone country
or a country
that requires stronger military power such
as South Korea, North Korea, Thailand, and Rusia
. In my point of view, I agree with Correct your spelling
Russia
this
stance because by having supporting military forces a country
will be more ready when they face an urgent situation that requires supporting troops to get into the war
area and this
mandatory military service
will directly increase someone's devotion to their country
.
Let's take an example on
Change preposition
of
Rusia
and Ukraine Correct your spelling
Russia
war
that happened in 2023. The war
that
shocked humankind all over the world because it may trigger another Correct pronoun usage
apply
war
to start
. Verb problem
apply
Furthermore
, this
Rusia-Ukraine conflict forced civilian troops to get into the war
area due to
the urgent situation that obliged Ukraine to do so. This
case is a simple illustration on
how compulsory military Change preposition
of
service
is a good idea for all countries to implement.
In addition
, someone's nationalism can't be measured by number
. Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
However
when they are required to sign up for mandatory military Add a comma
However,
service
means they are ready to devote their life for
the Change preposition
to
country
. This
military academy will also
teach youths on
the importance of their Change preposition
apply
country
's sovereignty and how to comprehensively protect it.
To sum up
, there will always be a
resistance Remove the article
apply
in
applying Change preposition
to
this
compulsory military service
concept in one country
. Personally, I think the benefits of this
system outweigh the disadvantages if it's applied in a systematic-humanism
scheme Correct your spelling
systematic humanism
especially
for countries Add the comma(s)
, especially
who
are Correct pronoun usage
that
in
Change preposition
apply
a
susceptible Correct article usage
apply
military
power.Change preposition
to military
Submitted by mayfa.shadrina on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introductory paragraph stating the position, followed by body paragraphs that develop the argument with clear topic sentences. Each paragraph should have a single central idea with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical progression of ideas. Linking words should be used effectively to help the reader follow the argument. Ensure each paragraph flows logically to the next.
task achievement
In developing the argument, ensure to include a wider range of examples and evidence. This will help in addressing the prompt more fully and showcasing a comprehensive analysis of the issue.
task achievement
Work on concluding the essay with a clear restatement of your position. The conclusion should summarize the main points discussed and clearly reflect the argument put forward.
task achievement
Address the counterarguments to show a balanced view and enhance the persuasive element of the essay. This will add depth to the argument and demonstrate critical thinking.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.