In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are different from those of previous generations. Some people say this had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

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Food
is the major source of energy for humans that can improve physicals and provide health benefits. It is undeniable that
food
has a crucial impact on the life and
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
of many
people
.
For example
, many
people
enjoy consuming fast
food
every day but they select
food
nutrition more than taste. From my perspective, I strongly disagree that consumer style has drawbacks to child health. Nowadays, the consumption of healthy
food
trend has significantly risen in many countries resulting in
people
considering health care from eating
food
.
For example
, some
people
consume vegetable salad or salad wrap twice a week. Other benefits include technology to
food
.
For instance
, some foods or drinks would add vitamins or protein to increase nutrition.
Moreover
, one of the advantages of healthy
food
can maintain the immune system or reform human hormones.
Additionally
, some
people
suggest that a good point of the modern
food
lifestyle is that reduces the time for cooking
food
through
food
delivery applications. Delivery foods are convenient for some
people
who want to consume
food
quickly.
However
, some
people
argue that fast
food
has a bad effect on our bodies. Because fast
food
must made from chemicals or unnatural sources. In the case of burgers from McDonald's many
people
believe that meat or chicken from there is produced for commercials and
that is
a non-natural product. In conclusion, the consumption of
food
is quite different from the past. It is more simple and convenient than the decades.
However
, the trend of healthy
food
is the impact to
people
's lifestyles
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
choosing the best
food
individuals
Submitted by kungslowjam on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance your logical structure, ensure that each paragraph follows a clear progression from the introduction of an idea to its elaboration and example. Use cohesive devices like 'firstly', 'secondly', 'in addition' to link your ideas more naturally.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the essay question. State your opinion clearly in the intro and restate it in the conclusion, summarizing your main points.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and details. While you mentioned some examples, they could be more detailed and directly relevant to the argument you are making. Use real-world evidence or statistics where possible.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. The question asks you to what extent you agree or disagree with the given opinion, but your essay often presents general points without clearly indicating the extent of your agreement or disagreement.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and comprehensive. Some statements in your essay are overly general or vague. Be precise and clarify your points so that the examiner understands exactly what you mean.
task achievement
Include more relevant and specific examples that correspond directly to your arguments. These examples should support the point you're making and show a clear connection to your thesis.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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