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Writing Samples /
Band 6

The diagrams below show the water supply system in Australia present and in future.

The diagrams below show the water supply system in Australia present and in future.
#diagrams #show #water #system #australia #future
The diagrams compare the differences between the present
water
 supply system in Australia, and what the system will look like in the future.
Overall
, the current
plan
 contains simple steps that
involves
Change the verb form
involve
show examples
water
 transportation, which is eventually detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the environment.
On the other hand
, the system looks more complex and environmentally friendly in the future.
To begin
, the first
plan
 demonstrates the
water
 storage in a dam, moving to a city afterwards, where it is used in shops, factories, and households.
Then
,
while
 the
storm
Correct your spelling
stormwater
show examples
water
 goes straight to the river, the
waste
Correct your spelling
wastewater
show examples
water
 is
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
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trasported
Correct your spelling
transported
 to a
water
 treatment plant
first,
where it is processed.
Similarly
, the pure
water
 will be stored and
then
send
Wrong verb form
sent
show examples
 to the facilities in the city, as
it is
Verb problem
apply
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represented in
Correct article usage
the
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 current
plan
.
However
, unlike now, both storm and
waste
Correct your spelling
wastewater
show examples
water
 will be directed to a treatment
plan
, where the
water
 will be filtered and returned to the city for reuse, avoiding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
river contamination.
Submitted by innakireeva0101 on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water, plan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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