IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people think that the government should not restrict what people say in public media as it is part of freedom of speech. To what extent do you agree to this statement?

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Many
people
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 believe that
,
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freedom
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 of
speech
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 will be established when the sayings of
people
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 in public
media
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 will not be interfered
by
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with by
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 the state. I personally agree with
this
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 viewpoint, because
freedom
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 of
speech
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 is one of the democratic rights of the
people
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 and for the sake of the
country
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, the thoughts and
speech
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 of
people
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 need to be expressed. On the one hand, it is the right of the
people
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 to talk about their feelings, thoughts and desires because a democratic
country
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 commits that.
Therefore
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, the government will mitigate the opportunity of expression of the citizens if they decide what
people
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 should say in public
media
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 and what should not. In Bangladesh,
for example
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, the government restricted the
speech
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 of
people
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 in 2019 through the "Digital Security Act" which is actually refraining
people
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 from speaking their hearts in the public
media
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.
Consequently
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, it is breaching the
freedom
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 of
speech
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 of
people
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 and violating democratic rights.
On the other hand
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, it is imperative that
,
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apply
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 public
media
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 is a useful means of communication and one of the best ways of expressing public feelings. It is essential to circulate and broadcast public feelings in
media
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 because public
media
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 are actually the mirror of the society
as well as
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 the
country
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. Public opinion is required for numerous reasons
such
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 as learning about public well-being, economic development, and social justice. If it is restricted, the actual conditions of a
country
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 will not be exposed and analysed which will not be beneficial for the
country
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's development. In Uganda, the restriction of public opinion has threatened the social and economic development of the
country
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. In conclusion,
freedom
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 of
speech
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 should be ensured not only to establish democracy but
also
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 it is needed for the betterment of the
country
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the flow of ideas is smooth and logical throughout the essay. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved to enhance the logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Introduce your main points in your introduction more clearly to prepare the reader for the structure of your essay and touch back on them in the conclusion to reinforce your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Support each of your main points with more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address all parts of the prompt in your response. While the essay presents a clear position, it could be enhanced by discussing possible limitations or considerations for managing freedom of speech responsibly.
task achievement
Strive to express your ideas as clearly and comprehensively as possible, utilizing a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary. Try to avoid repetition and keep your writing concise.
task achievement
Include relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. While the essay does provide examples, additional detail or more varied examples would make your essay stronger.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • freedom of speech
  • democratic societies
  • constitutions
  • diversity of opinions
  • government decisions
  • censorship
  • suppressive
  • dissenting opinions
  • arbitrary
  • detrimental
  • regulation
  • hate speech
  • misinformation
  • social cohesion
  • public safety
  • responsibilities
  • incite
  • discriminate
  • digital media
  • global platforms
  • international cooperation
  • standards
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