Nowadays, more and more people choose to do their shopping onlineinstead of going to physical stores. Why is this so? What are the disadvantages of this trend?

Online shopping has gained popularity among
people
in recent years compared to the past. Numerous shopping applications, which provide delivery services would be accepted
the
Change preposition
as the
show examples
significant reason why
people
prefer to buy their groceries online.
However
,
this
preferance
Correct your spelling
preference
may lead to an increase in
unemployment
rates in the business. Nowadays, thanks to the comprehensive and well-designed web pages, shoppers may buy their needs,
while
sitting on their
coach
Correct your spelling
couch
show examples
at
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in
show examples
their living room,
instead
of going to a
store
.
Therefore
, they can save their time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and may engage in refreshing activities, like reading or doing yoga.
In addition
, they may be more overjoyed as they escape from mundane tasks
such
as selecting tomatoes, or waiting in a line for payment.
Furthermore
, online
stores
are likely to offer more discounts to their customers,
due to
the fact that they do not pay for
renting
Wrong verb form
rent
show examples
a huge
store
, or
electiricty
Correct your spelling
electricity
like physical
stores
. Since, they pay only for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
moderate storage, their outcomes, which
origin
Replace the word
originate
show examples
from
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
, or electricity are lower in comparison with the traditional
stores
.
Hence
, they may offer better discount opportunities for buyers. In
this
way,
shopper
Add an article
the shopper
a shopper
show examples
may save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money
via
Change preposition
by
show examples
purchasing their needs online. The major drawback related to
this
pattern is the likelihood of rising
unemployment
rates in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. The more
people
prefer to buy online, the more conventional
stores
face to risk of bankruptcy.
As a result
, individuals, who work as a cashier, a cleaning
stuff
Correct your spelling
staff
show examples
, or a manager of a supermarket are likely to face
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the risk of
unemployment
. Companies tend to change their
stores
towards online types, in
this
way they are able to supply their customer's demand with
lower
Add an article
a lower
the lower
show examples
number of workers.
For example
, an online
store
may make the same profit, with only two delivery guys,
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
a physical
store
, where ten
people
are employed. Unfortunately, factories are likely to fire their employees, in order to make more profit.
Unevitably
Correct your spelling
Inevitably
,
this
phenomenon results in rising
unemployment
rates in the society
To conclude
, when all these
factories
Correct your spelling
factors
show examples
are taken into account
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since online shopping
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
to save money and time in terms of shoppers,
people
eager
Add a missing verb
are eager
show examples
to use
this
alternative,
instead
of going to a supermarket on foot.
However
,
this
trend may result in an increase in the number of jobless
people
in the long run. Authorities, should be aware of
this
risk, and implement laws
for saving
Change preposition
to save
show examples
their citizens from being fired.
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure of your essay, make sure to organize your paragraphs clearly with distinct introductions, development of ideas, and conclusions. Also, use cohesive devices appropriately to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined and reflect the content of your essay. The introduction should set the stage for your argument and the conclusion should effectively summarize your main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
While you have supported your main points, consider strengthening your argument with more detailed examples and data. This could involve citing studies, surveys, or other forms of empirical evidence to back up your arguments.
task achievement
You've provided a complete response to the task, addressing both aspects of the question (why people shop online and the disadvantages). To score higher, work on developing your ideas more fully and providing a more in-depth analysis of the issues.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but to improve comprehensiveness, expand on each point with more details and explanations. Each paragraph should fully explore the point being made.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. The examples provided are somewhat generic, so adding real-world cases or specific scenarios would make your essay stronger.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • convenience
  • physical stores
  • retail therapy
  • consumer behavior
  • digital interactions
  • price comparison
  • product range
  • internet penetration
  • online payment systems
  • delivery logistics
  • carbon footprint
  • expedited shipping
  • local businesses
  • retail sector
What to do next:
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