Studies suggest that many teenagers these days prefer socialising online to meeting one another in person. Why do you think this is the case? What measures could be taken to encourage teenagers to spend more time meeting one another in person?

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Socialisation can be conducted by meeting directly or
by
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apply
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online. The research
advise
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advises
show examples
that some
of
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apply
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teenagers
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the teenagers
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nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
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more
Add a missing verb
are more
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like socialising online than meeting other
people
in
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apply
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offline.
This
essay will discuss why young
people
prefer socialising online and
provides
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provide
show examples
options
for
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to
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encourage them to
alocate
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allocate
locate
their time
meeting
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to meeting
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someone in
person
. The youth like
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to comunicate
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comunicate
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communicate
each
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with each
show examples
other by using
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the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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because it is more
convinient
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convenient
.
morover
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Moreover
,
online
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the online
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platform gives them more experience
to connect
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in connecting
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many
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with many
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people
around the globe. They do not need to go somewhere which can allow them
spend
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to spend
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much effort to meet.
For example
, they
shoud
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should
not pay for transportation and wear the best outfit they have. As
the
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a
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result, they choose to use
internet
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the internet
show examples
as media for communication
than
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rather than
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meeting in
person
.
On the other hand
, meeting in
person
actualy
Correct your spelling
actually
can affect them to have
strong
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a strong
show examples
relationship and give them some benefits. Because, they know with whom they talk,
then
they understand what kind of
person
he/she is.
For instance
, when they get a
trasaction
Correct your spelling
transaction
with someone, it is safer to meet directly or it is called cash on delivery. So that, they will not be lied
and
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to and
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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will get the product same as
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
expectation
Replace the word
expect
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.
In the
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The
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most important thing is they will not lose their money. it can be inferred that meeting in
person
is the best way if young
people
have a transaction
which is
Verb problem
that
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involved
Wrong verb form
involves
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
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money. In conclusion,
internet
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the internet
show examples
give
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gives
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best
Change the article
the best
show examples
experience for youth to know other
people
on
the
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apply
show examples
Earth
eventhough
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even though
it is far away, and for
Fix the agreement mistake
transactions
show examples
transaction
Add a comma
transaction,
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it needs to meet directly to
antisipate
Correct your spelling
escape
from robbery.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
It's essential to structure your essay clearly with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs. Ensure that transitions between them are smooth to enhance the logical flow.
coherence cohesion
Provide more specific examples to support your main points, making them more persuasive and relevant. Use real-life scenarios, statistics, or studies to illustrate your arguments.
task achievement
Fully address both parts of the task by discussing why teenagers prefer online socialisation and suggesting measures to encourage in-person interactions. Expand on both points equally for a balanced response.
task achievement
Strive for clarity and detail in your ideas. Avoid vague statements and ensure your argument is developed with clear reasoning that's easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Errors can distract from your message and reduce the clarity of your essay. Consider revising your essay with a focus on these elements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • socialization
  • curate
  • engaging
  • social anxiety
  • digital detox
  • tech-free zones
  • mentorship programs
  • real-world interactions
  • face-to-face settings
  • in-person participation
  • promote
  • deter
  • foster
  • appeal
  • perspectives
  • detox challenges
  • community service
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