You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more? You should write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, classical
music
become unpopular in several countries for young
people
, where it can be seen by just
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
of them attending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
classical
music
concert
Fix the agreement mistake
concerts
show examples
or playing classical
music
.
This
issue can happen because the youngers are most attracted by other genres of
music
,
for instance
, pop and rock styles and advanced technology makes
this
changing be
Wrong verb form
change
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faster. In my opinion, young
people
should attend and learn more about classical
music
to prevent
this
inheritance and be their soft skill. First of all, technology has broadly brought game-changing in human life including in terms of
favorite
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favourite
show examples
music
each
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
In several
Change preposition
Several
show examples
decade
Change to a plural noun
decades
show examples
ago, classical
music
was
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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all the rage, and many young
people
at the moment tried to learn
this
musical type,
while
in
this
current day, the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
music
has
transform
Wrong verb form
transformed
show examples
to pop- dance and soft-rock
music
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
for young.
As a result
,
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest
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types become less interesting for them.
On the other hand
,
although
the musical classic
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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very
attract
Replace the word
attractive
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for
Change preposition
to
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them,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
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as an inherit,
this
musical should
thougt
Wrong verb form
be taught
show examples
at school to improve the ability of students since classical
music
can increase
capability
Add an article
the capability
show examples
of
Correct article usage
the human's
show examples
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
brain. According to researchers
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
California University in 2022,
people
who can be able to play several tools of classical
music
have
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more neurons in their brain that can support the person to have more critical thinking rather than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the sound of
this
music
leads
people
to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
calm feeling.
In other words
,
this
frequency of
this
sound
undirectly
Rephrase
undoubtedly
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reduces anxiety and stress over the ages.
This
will be a positive trend for youngers if they learn
this
musical, as they are more likely
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
many problems because of isolation which is coming from smartphone addiction. In conclusion, young
people
should learn classical
music
, not only to prevent
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
customs, but
also
to lead them
reduce
Add the particle
to reduce
show examples
their
stressful
Replace the word
stress
show examples
. By learning
this
music
, young
people
can be more active and
dissappear
Correct your spelling
disappear
from smartphone addiction.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Organize your paragraphs coherently with clear topic sentences, and ensure the flow of ideas is easy to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your main argument and summarize your key points. Each paragraph should be well-developed and follow from the one before it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples or explanations. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task promptly. Explain why fewer young people are attending or playing classical music, and discuss whether they should be encouraged to engage with it more.
Task Achievement
Ensure the ideas presented in your essay are clear and easily comprehensible. Aim for simplicity and precision in your language to effectively convey your viewpoints.
Task Achievement
To earn a higher score, work on grammar, precision, and vocabulary. Improve your essay by correcting grammatical errors and choosing words that more accurately reflect what you mean.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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