You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more? You should write at least 250 words.

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Nowadays, classical
music
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become unpopular in several countries for young
people
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, where it can be seen by just
few
Change the article
a few
show examples
of them attending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
classical
music
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concert
Fix the agreement mistake
concerts
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or playing classical
music
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.
This
Linking Words
issue can happen because the youngers are most attracted by other genres of
music
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,
for instance
Linking Words
, pop and rock styles and advanced technology makes
this
Linking Words
changing be
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
faster. In my opinion, young
people
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should attend and learn more about classical
music
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to prevent
this
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inheritance and be their soft skill. First of all, technology has broadly brought game-changing in human life including in terms of
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
music
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each
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
In several
Change preposition
Several
show examples
decade
Change to a plural noun
decades
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ago, classical
music
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was
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
all the rage, and many young
people
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at the moment tried to learn
this
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musical type,
while
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in
this
Linking Words
current day, the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
music
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has
transform
Wrong verb form
transformed
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to pop- dance and soft-rock
music
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as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
for young.
As a result
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,
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest
show examples
types become less interesting for them.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
the musical classic
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
very
attract
Replace the word
attractive
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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them,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
as an inherit,
this
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musical should
thougt
Wrong verb form
be taught
show examples
at school to improve the ability of students since classical
music
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can increase
capability
Add an article
the capability
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of
Correct article usage
the human's
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human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
brain. According to researchers
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
California University in 2022,
people
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who can be able to play several tools of classical
music
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have
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more neurons in their brain that can support the person to have more critical thinking rather than
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
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not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the sound of
this
Linking Words
music
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leads
people
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to
the
Correct article usage
a
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calm feeling.
In other words
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,
this
Linking Words
frequency of
this
Linking Words
sound
undirectly
Rephrase
undoubtedly
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reduces anxiety and stress over the ages.
This
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will be a positive trend for youngers if they learn
this
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musical, as they are more likely
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
many problems because of isolation which is coming from smartphone addiction. In conclusion, young
people
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should learn classical
music
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, not only to prevent
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
customs, but
also
Linking Words
to lead them
reduce
Add the particle
to reduce
show examples
their
stressful
Replace the word
stress
show examples
. By learning
this
Linking Words
music
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, young
people
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can be more active and
dissappear
Correct your spelling
disappear
from smartphone addiction.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your main argument and summarize your key points. Each paragraph should be well-developed and follow from the one before it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples or explanations. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task promptly. Explain why fewer young people are attending or playing classical music, and discuss whether they should be encouraged to engage with it more.
Task Achievement
Ensure the ideas presented in your essay are clear and easily comprehensible. Aim for simplicity and precision in your language to effectively convey your viewpoints.
Task Achievement
To earn a higher score, work on grammar, precision, and vocabulary. Improve your essay by correcting grammatical errors and choosing words that more accurately reflect what you mean.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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