You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more? You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, classical
music
become unpopular in several countries for young people
, where it can be seen by just few
of them attending Change the article
a few
the
classical Correct article usage
apply
music
concert
or playing classical Fix the agreement mistake
concerts
music
. This
issue can happen because the youngers are most attracted by other genres of music
, for instance
, pop and rock styles and advanced technology makes this
changing be
faster. In my opinion, young Wrong verb form
change
people
should attend and learn more about classical music
to prevent this
inheritance and be their soft skill.
First of all, technology has broadly brought game-changing in human life including in terms of favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
music
each years
. Change to a singular noun
year
In several
Change preposition
Several
decade
ago, classical Change to a plural noun
decades
music
was be
all the rage, and many young Unnecessary verb
apply
people
at the moment tried to learn this
musical type, while
in this
current day, the favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
music
has transform
to pop- dance and soft-rock Wrong verb form
transformed
music
as
the Change preposition
apply
favorite
for young. Change the spelling
favourite
As a result
, oldest
types become less interesting for them. Correct article usage
the oldest
On the other hand
, although
the musical classic not
very Add a missing verb
is not
attract
Replace the word
attractive
for
them, Change preposition
to
but
as an inherit, Remove the conjunction
apply
this
musical should thougt
at school to improve the ability of students since classical Wrong verb form
be taught
music
can increase capability
of Add an article
the capability
Correct article usage
the human's
human's
brain.
According to researchers Change noun form
human
in
California University in 2022, Change preposition
at
people
who can be able to play several tools of classical music
have had
more neurons in their brain that can support the person to have more critical thinking rather than Unnecessary verb
apply
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
not
. Add a missing verb
do not
Furthermore
, the sound of this
music
leads people
to the
calm feeling. Correct article usage
a
In other words
, this
frequency of this
sound undirectly
reduces anxiety and stress over the ages. Rephrase
undoubtedly
This
will be a positive trend for youngers if they learn this
musical, as they are more likely have
many problems because of isolation which is coming from smartphone addiction.
In conclusion, young Fix the infinitive
to have
people
should learn classical music
, not only to prevent this
customs, but Correct determiner usage
these
also
to lead them reduce
their Add the particle
to reduce
stressful
. By learning Replace the word
stress
this
music
, young people
can be more active and dissappear
from smartphone addiction.Correct your spelling
disappear
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear and logical structure. Organize your paragraphs coherently with clear topic sentences, and ensure the flow of ideas is easy to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include an introduction and conclusion that clearly state your main argument and summarize your key points. Each paragraph should be well-developed and follow from the one before it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with detailed and relevant examples or explanations. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
Task Achievement
Address all parts of the task promptly. Explain why fewer young people are attending or playing classical music, and discuss whether they should be encouraged to engage with it more.
Task Achievement
Ensure the ideas presented in your essay are clear and easily comprehensible. Aim for simplicity and precision in your language to effectively convey your viewpoints.
Task Achievement
To earn a higher score, work on grammar, precision, and vocabulary. Improve your essay by correcting grammatical errors and choosing words that more accurately reflect what you mean.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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