what is your opinion toward legal Cannabis ues for recreational purposes?

Marihuaja has been a big legal problem in the world, if the Government legalizes it, the
drug
trafficking problem would decrease, that's why
this
essay agrees with that statement because marihuana used for medical and recreational time with specific doses can get more benefits than negative points to society. The persecution cost of the illegal
market
of Cannabis in
U.S
Correct article usage
the U.S
show examples
has been increasing in the
last
few years since several
people
are using
this
addictive as a solution for pain, depression, anxiety, and diversion time, and for a
lot
of it turned in inoffensive
drug
, that just has benefits for the spiritual body, as a representation of
this
affirmations is Colorado and California, legalizing weed in healthy and recreation style,
as a consequence
the state has been reducing the illegal traffic of
this
drug
as a control consumption and tax increase to buy and sell
this
as a normal
drug
, in comparison with other states, that have to deal with the black
market
, investing a
lot
of thousands of money in investigations and police control to caught places that distributed
this
hallucinogen. Another argument that I support as idea of legalizing Marijuana is the increase in value, being as
people
do not care to pay too much to satisfy their interest and that point is when the
market
gets a
lot
of benefits, as told in psychology theory, when something is prohibited is when they more want it, and the illicit substances is a example of
this
affirmations, everyday
people
try to get more and more of those things, whether it's, addiction, medical
drug
or relaxing time. Virginia and
Baltimore
Add the possessive form
Baltimore's
show examples
state
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
an example of those statements since there are a
lot
of
people
with problems and
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
that only work to buy weed and other substances and the Government does not have control of those, increasing consumption dramatically. In conclusion, I believe that
legalization
Correct article usage
the legalization
show examples
of Cannabis
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
medical health and recreation purposes will help to reduce the high level of addiction since there would be no restrictions to getting it, and
people
will stop with the illegal
market
because they would have to pay tax for
this
product as other one in the sell.
Submitted by jennitobon16 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the question and presents a clear position throughout. However, some of the ideas could be elaborated on to provide a more in-depth examination of the topic. Focus on developing each paragraph with a single clear idea, supported by detailed examples or explanations.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured, with a clear progression of ideas. That said, work can be done to make the ideas flow more naturally from one to another. Using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words would greatly strengthen the coherence and cohesion of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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