IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people believe that it is better to live in a city, while others prefer countryside life. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #city #countryside #life
People
's living places and their preferences
varies
Change the verb form
vary
show examples
 some believe it is better to live in
cities
 whilst I believe
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
 is better for living
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 In
this
 essay, I discuss both views and give my opinion
Rephrase
apply
show examples
also
. On the one hand, living in the
cities
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 great for some
people
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
easier for them to find
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
job
 opportunities. I mean diversification in business is so far in
cities
 which leads to more demand for
job
 vacancies that's why
people
 prefer
cities
 over
villages
. Even
people
 with less or without education can easily afford a
job
 in
cities
 which cannot be possible in
Village
Correct article usage
the Village
show examples
 sides.
For instance
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
technology companies are located in
cities
, so it is easier for
town
Correct your spelling
townspeople
show examples
people
 to find
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work which is compared to
Countryside
Correct article usage
the Countryside
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some believe Countryside is better
foe
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 living. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 pollution areas where
people
 can
made
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 their life comfortable and peaceful. Polluted water and air can cause various
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of serious diseases and
illness
Fix the agreement mistake
illnesses
show examples
.
Inorder
Correct your spelling
In order
show examples
 to escape from
this
people
 prefer
villages
 over
cities
.
For example
, research shows that
people
 who live in
cities
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 having higher probability of having airborne diseases
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
compared with
villages
. In conclusion,
people
 prefer different places to live from
cities
 and
villages
 for various reasons like
job
 opportunities and pollution. Living in
villages
outweigh
Verb problem
has
show examples
 more advantages than living in
cities
.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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structure
Ensure you have a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. The introduction should more clearly present the two opposing views and your thesis statement. Use clear paragraphing, with one main idea per paragraph.
balanced argument
Present a balanced discussion of both views before giving your opinion. Your essay should have equal treatment of the city and countryside arguments before you state your preference.
grammar
Work on your grammar, in particular verb tenses and subject-verb agreement. Also, pay attention to plurals and possessive forms.
vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas, avoiding repetition of words and phrases. Employ synonyms where appropriate and ensure vocabulary is used accurately.
examples
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Each main idea should be followed by an explanation or example to clarify and support your point.
conclusion
For the conclusion, restate the main points briefly and clearly. Make sure your conclusion reflects the arguments presented in the essay and clearly states your final stance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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