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Writing Samples
Band 4

IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD, ILLITERACY RATES ARE STILL HIGH. WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS? WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST?

#parts #world #illiteracy #rates
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most parts
around
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the world,
stil
Correct your spelling
still
 have
a low literacy rates
Correct the article-noun agreement
low literacy rates
a low literacy rate
show examples
. The reason behind
this
 issue
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
because
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they do not find topics that interesting for them to read yet.
Also
,
people
 are too lazy to buy or rent
books
 from the
store
. In order to solve
this
, it is by using media involvement which
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
 to letting
people
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
 if reading is fun because there are
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of
books
 that they can explore,
not to mention
 they can find many types of readings on the internet. Lately, there are still many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
 that have lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
interest
to read
Change preposition
in reading
show examples
books
. The main
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
because
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they still do not find the
right
 topic to explore.
For example
,
people
are tend
Change the verb form
tend
show examples
 to think that reading obligates them to find something educational.
However
,
this
 mindset is totally wrong because
right
 now there are a lot of writers that offer fiction
books
 with amazing stories.
Not to mention
,
this
 type of genre
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 have certain lessons if
people
 can truly understand the story itself. Other than boring, sometimes
people
 just get
very
Rephrase
too
show examples
 lazy to purchase or even rent
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 from the
store
. Because most of them still have the mindset,
if
Correct word choice
that if
show examples
 they want to read they can only do
this
 by
purchase
Change the verb form
purchasing
show examples
 the physical one. These problems can
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
show examples
 by letting them know if reading is fun
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 if they can find the
right
 topics that they
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
,
Change preposition
in, in
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in
addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
show examples
 if
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
show examples
 lazy to go out they can search
these
Change preposition
for these
show examples
books
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 online website or even buy the online version
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. In my experience, I used to hate
books
 because I
tought
Correct your spelling
thought
 that reading
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 boring.
However
, when I went into one of the book's
store
Change to a plural noun
stores
show examples
 in my city, I
founded
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
 a fiction book called "Harry Potter. From that
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
 moment I
get
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 really obsessed
to read
Change preposition
with reading
show examples
 more
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
fiction
books
, but if run out of
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
readings, I usually get
pretty
Rephrase
too
show examples
 lazy to find them on the offline
store
, so I tried to search
Change preposition
for it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 on the internet. It truly helps me because it
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 and
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
offers
Change the verb form
offered
show examples
 many options.
To sum up
, most
people
 from around the world still have high illiteracy rates. It is because they still have not
find
Wrong verb form
found
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 interesting topic to read yet,
also
 they
just
Add a missing verb
are just
show examples
 too lazy to find
books
 from the offline
store
. To conquer
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues, it is by using media involvement and letting them know that reading is fun
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 able to find the
right
 topic.
Not to mention
, they can find their readings through the internet.
Submitted by bmaharani04 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that you clearly restate the task requirements in the introduction and summarize them in the conclusion. In this essay, the introduction and conclusion were not clearly identifiable and did not encapsulate the main points effectively.
logical structure
Work on creating a more logical flow within the essay. Use transitional phrases to smoothly connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Consider organizing each paragraph around a single main idea and using supporting sentences to develop that idea.
supported main points
Support your main ideas with clear, relevant examples. Avoid general statements that do not provide concrete evidence to back up your points. Provide specific examples or statistics where possible to strengthen your argument.
complete response
Address the task directly and make sure your response is complete. Each part of the prompt should be answered clearly, and ideas should be expanded on to show a full understanding of the topic. Ensure there is a balanced discussion of both causes and solutions regarding illiteracy rates.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop ideas comprehensively. Avoid superficial treatment of the subject. Take time to elaborate on points made, ensuring they are well-explained and that the reader is not left with unanswered questions.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant and specific examples to back up your points. These can come from personal experience, observations, or external sources. Make sure they are directly related to the point being made and contribute to the overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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