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Writing Samples
Band 4

IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD, ILLITERACY RATES ARE STILL HIGH. WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE CAUSES OF THIS? WHAT SOLUTIONS CAN YOU SUGGEST?

#parts #world #illiteracy #rates
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most parts
around
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of
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 the world,
stil
Correct your spelling
still
 have
a low literacy rates
Correct the article-noun agreement
low literacy rates
a low literacy rate
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. The reason behind
this
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 issue
it
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apply
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is
because
Correct word choice
that
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 they do not find topics that interesting for them to read yet.
Also
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,
people
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 are too lazy to buy or rent
books
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 from the
store
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. In order to solve
this
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, it is by using media involvement which
help
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helps
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 to letting
people
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now
Correct your spelling
know
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 if reading is fun because there are
variety
Add an article
a variety
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 of
books
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 that they can explore,
not to mention
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 they can find many types of readings on the internet. Lately, there are still many
of
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apply
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people
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 that have lack
of
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apply
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interest
to read
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in reading
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books
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. The main
causes
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cause
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from
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of
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this
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issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
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are
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is
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because
Correct word choice
that
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 they still do not find the
right
Use synonyms
 topic to explore.
For example
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,
people
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are tend
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tend
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 to think that reading obligates them to find something educational.
However
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,
this
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 mindset is totally wrong because
right
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 now there are a lot of writers that offer fiction
books
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 with amazing stories.
Not to mention
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,
this
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 type of genre
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
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 have certain lessons if
people
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 can truly understand the story itself. Other than boring, sometimes
people
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 just get
very
Rephrase
too
show examples
 lazy to purchase or even rent
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 from the
store
Use synonyms
. Because most of them still have the mindset,
if
Correct word choice
that if
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 they want to read they can only do
this
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 by
purchase
Change the verb form
purchasing
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 the physical one. These problems can
be solve
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be solved
show examples
 by letting them know if reading is fun
,
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apply
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 if they can find the
right
Use synonyms
 topics that they
interested
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are interested
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,
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in, in
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in
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addition
Add the comma(s)
addition,
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 if
they
Add a verb
they are
they were
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 lazy to go out they can search
these
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for these
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books
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from
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on
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 online website or even buy the online version
one
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apply
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. In my experience, I used to hate
books
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 because I
tought
Correct your spelling
thought
 that reading
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 boring.
However
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, when I went into one of the book's
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store
Change to a plural noun
stores
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 in my city, I
founded
Wrong verb form
found
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 a fiction book called "Harry Potter. From that
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
 moment I
get
Wrong verb form
got
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 really obsessed
to read
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with reading
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 more
of
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apply
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fiction
books
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, but if run out of
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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readings, I usually get
pretty
Rephrase
too
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 lazy to find them on the offline
store
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, so I tried to search
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for it
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 on the internet. It truly helps me because it
very
Add a missing verb
is very
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convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 and
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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offers
Change the verb form
offered
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 many options.
To sum up
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, most
people
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 from around the world still have high illiteracy rates. It is because they still have not
find
Wrong verb form
found
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 interesting topic to read yet,
also
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 they
just
Add a missing verb
are just
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 too lazy to find
books
Use synonyms
 from the offline
store
Use synonyms
. To conquer
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 issues, it is by using media involvement and letting them know that reading is fun
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 able to find the
right
Use synonyms
 topic.
Not to mention
Linking Words
, they can find their readings through the internet.
Submitted by bmaharani04 on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that you clearly restate the task requirements in the introduction and summarize them in the conclusion. In this essay, the introduction and conclusion were not clearly identifiable and did not encapsulate the main points effectively.
logical structure
Work on creating a more logical flow within the essay. Use transitional phrases to smoothly connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Consider organizing each paragraph around a single main idea and using supporting sentences to develop that idea.
supported main points
Support your main ideas with clear, relevant examples. Avoid general statements that do not provide concrete evidence to back up your points. Provide specific examples or statistics where possible to strengthen your argument.
complete response
Address the task directly and make sure your response is complete. Each part of the prompt should be answered clearly, and ideas should be expanded on to show a full understanding of the topic. Ensure there is a balanced discussion of both causes and solutions regarding illiteracy rates.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop ideas comprehensively. Avoid superficial treatment of the subject. Take time to elaborate on points made, ensuring they are well-explained and that the reader is not left with unanswered questions.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant and specific examples to back up your points. These can come from personal experience, observations, or external sources. Make sure they are directly related to the point being made and contribute to the overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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