The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales ( in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the annual number of rentals and sales ( in various formats) of films from a particular store between 2002 and 2011. 

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart gives
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
th e
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
annual
amount
of rentals and
sales
of films
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
2002 until 2011 from a specific store it shows the downtrend of film rentals in the specific store from 2002 until 2011. With
identical
Add an article
the identical
an identical
show examples
pattern, VHS which started
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
smaller
Add an article
a smaller
the smaller
show examples
amount
of
sales
also
shows
downtrend
Correct article usage
a downtrend
show examples
and
then
disappeared after 2005,
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
DVD
sales
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
its momentum from 50,000
sales
in 2002 to
reach
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
peak in 2007 with up to 210,000
sales
per
years
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
. But after it
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
peak in 2007, the DVD
sales
slowly downcreasing until 2011.
However
Blu-ray
sales
emerging
Wrong verb form
emerged
show examples
in 2007 with only under 10,000
sales
per year until 2010, It steadily
rising
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
until reaching 15,000
sales
per year in 2011. In summary, the annual
amount
of DVD
sales
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
dominant in all the years
although
it constantly
drop
Wrong verb form
dropped
show examples
after 2007
while
blu-ray
Change the capitalization
Blu-ray
show examples
sales
appeared and it was the lowest
amount
of
sales
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, sales with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: