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Band 4

An increasing number of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

#students #study #trend #benefit #countries
it is known that the world has become small
while
devalopment
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development
transportion
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transportation
. a lot of
besseness
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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man
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men
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 or
company
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companies
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 work
Replace the word
globally
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global
Change the word
globally
show examples
 and
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 can go to another
country
Change preposition
to
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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complate
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complete
their
educatation
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education
. some person
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
 that it is so
dencer
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dense
about
Change preposition
to
show examples
lose
Change the verb form
losing
show examples
 their valuable
students
,
orhers
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others
 are not. ı going to
expline
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explain
it's
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its
show examples
advantage
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advantages
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 and
disadvantage
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disadvantages
show examples
 in
this
 essay. on the one hand, our
country
 is so crowded and our economic
stuvetion
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situation
 can not let
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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every
student
can
Verb problem
apply
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go to
univercity
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university
. that's why some people
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to another school
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 another
country
 is
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 change for
as
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
.
addationaly
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additionally
, the learners can
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
learn
defferint
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different
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cultures
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culture
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cultures
show examples
 and
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languages
show examples
language
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languages
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and they
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they
Correct word choice
and they
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 can be
global
Add an article
the global
a global
show examples
 parson.
for example
, even if Kemal Derviş is so
Correct article usage
an impornat
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impornat
Correct your spelling
important
 economist in the world, it is thanks to
was be
Change the verb form
be
show examples
student
Add an article
a student
show examples
 of USE, even if he is from Turkey.
that
Capitalize word
That
show examples
exxample
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example
examples
 show as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 maybe he can not be
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
ecunomist
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economist
economists
 in the
wold
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world
show examples
 if he
stady
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stays
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Turkey.
on the other hand
, our a lot of
student
 go to another
country
 to
stady
.
ofcourse
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of course
 it is not free and we lose
money
 to
moch
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much
. because
student
's
familey
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families
 charge big
money
 for their
student
. it
is
Verb problem
means
show examples
mein
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a lot of
money
move
Fix the infinitive
to move
show examples
 to
anoher
Correct your spelling
another
country
. it is so bad
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our economic
stuvatation
Correct your spelling
substation
. for
insatance
Correct your spelling
instance
, my
cousen
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cousin
charge
Correct subject-verb agreement
charges
show examples
 10,000
dolars
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dollars
 for their son wich is
stady
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in
 London.
moreover
, they do not come back to their
country
 if the
students
love
Add the particle
love to
show examples
 live
another
Change preposition
in another
show examples
country
. for that
riason
Correct your spelling
reason
stady
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study
steady
abrode
Correct your spelling
abroad
 is so
dencer
Correct your spelling
dancer
dense
 because we can lose our
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
.
to sum up
, we can work in the world, it
is
Verb problem
will
show examples
 make our rich
country
.
however
, if our
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 go
to abrode
Correct your spelling
abroad
 for
stary
Correct your spelling
study
show examples
 we lose
money
 and our valuable
students
 who are smart. in my opinion, we
shuld
Correct your spelling
should
 make
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 and free
educatation sistem
Correct your spelling
education system
. that time
students
 do not need go to
other
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
country
.
Submitted by ares.grup on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use cohesive devices to link ideas within and across sentences effectively. Check for sentence structure, paragraphing, and overall essay flow.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the prompt, providing a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages. Develop each main idea with specific examples and explanations. Aim for a more complete response by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks in depth and concluding with a clear opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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