In the past, everyone wore clothes according to their culture, but now people wear similar clothes all around the world. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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These days, it
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb becomes. Consider changing it.

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less common to wear traditional
clothes
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as they are considered to be irrelevant and outdated. Some people believe that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

trend negatively affects society as individuals are losing their sense of identity. I truly agree with the latter opinion, and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will explain why. First and foremost, traditional elements and ornaments in
clothes
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

lead to the connectivity to the culture.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, wearing cultural dresses demonstrates
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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respect and belonging to the ancestors who contributed to
build
Wrong verb form
building

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb build. Consider changing it.

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their cultural background a long time ago.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in Russia, some small isolated communities still utilise traditional costumes for spiritual events to value
the
Change the word
their

The word the may be incorrect in this context. Consider changing it.

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heritage and connect to their roots.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these activities lead to the expression of pride and recognition of the cultural identity. Another
importnat
Correct your spelling
important

If you don’t want importnat to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

factor correlating to wearing ethnic
clothes
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is individuality and uniqueness. As fashion became uninteresting making people similar to each other, following old traditional styles
causes
Wrong verb form
caused

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb causes. Consider changing it.

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individuals
looking
Change the verb form
to look

Looking doesn’t seem to work here.

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more bright and unique. Take, Zankov,
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a controversial and sensational fashion designer creating utopian patterns in
clothes
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to demonstrate the similarity in fashion nowadays.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
combination
Add an article
a combination
the combination

The noun phrase combination seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of traditional and modern patterns contribute to individual styles and appearance. In conclusion, the excessive usage of
mass market
Add a hyphen
mass-market

It seems that mass market is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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items results in
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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lack of identity and individuality. Promoting traditional
clothes
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

helps human beings find their connection to their culture expressing their own individual features.

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that both sides of the argument are discussed if the question requires it. Also, include a balanced evaluation, and expand on your examples to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on the logical flow of your essay. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and organize paragraphs in a way that each main idea is clearly introduced and concluded. This will help in strengthening the overall structure of your response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural attire
  • Globalization
  • Homogenization
  • Fashion trends
  • Traditional garments
  • Cultural identity
  • Westernization
  • Multinational brands
  • Cultural diversity
  • Mass production
  • Local textiles
  • Fashion industry
  • Cultural exchange
  • Preservation
  • Assimilation
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