it is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. punishment is necessary to help them learn this discussion. to what extent do you agree or disagree this opinion? what sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to teach good behavior to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #discussion #sort #parents #teachers #behavior

It is very necessary for

children

to be able to make

difference

Correct article usage

a difference

show examples

what

Change preposition

between what

show examples

is right and wrong when they grow up. In

this

case, I think,

punishment

can exert some negative impacts on them

such

as they may get depressed and

on the other hand

, become more curious to do

things

those

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

are not right.

Moreover

, I disagree that

children

should be punished to learn good behaviour.

To begin

with, in terms of rising depression, rude

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

of activities plays a vital role.

punishment

can scare them and that

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to opposite

things

Therefore

, A child does not have enough

knowlegde

Correct your spelling

knowledge

about

things

which are bad so in their world, they are not familiar with

punishment

For example

, if a kid

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not understand why he is getting yelled at, it will lead him to depression. He will be sad and he will not be focused on

learing

Correct your spelling

learning

something.

Secondly

, Punishing them can enhance their interest

Change preposition

show examples

things

those

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

are forbidden. If they are forced to not do something, they will do it to see what happens and why they are getting exploited.

For instance

, in my school, one of my classmates was punished for stealing a pencil and

then

another day he did the same.

Furthermore

, I do not see

punishment

Rephrase

how punishment

show examples

works to make

children

a good person. There are so many ways to teach them morality, ethics and all. I would suggest that if we get closer to them, we can make it

such

Change preposition

apply

show examples

by creating a friendly

envionment

Correct your spelling

environment

, playing with them,

giving

Correct word choice

and giving

show examples

them more time rather than pressurising

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

that

Correct word choice

what

show examples

we want.

Additionally

, As

children

spend more time at school,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

teachers should be trained to provide them with a healthy

envionment

Correct your spelling

environment

, make them do social

works

Fix the agreement mistake

work

show examples

and read books and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the other hand parents should reinforce them to practice those activities during their formative years.

To conclude

, punishing them contributes to bad effects

such

as it drives them into anxiety and depression and expands their interest in wrong activities.

Finally

, in my opinion, we should try different ways to make sure

their

Correct your spelling

they are

show examples

better upgrowing since

punishment

has negative outcomes on their behaviour.

Submitted by niloyirtisam on Sun Jan 21 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

To improve task achievement, make sure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. The essay should clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the opinion and provide a thorough discussion with arguments and examples to support your view. Ensure that each paragraph explores a distinct idea and that the overall position is clear throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing your ideas more logically and using a wider range of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, pronouns, and transitional phrases. This will help your essay to flow more naturally from one idea to the next. Make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph are related to this main idea. Additionally, work on having a stronger introduction and conclusion that encapsulate your viewpoint and summarize the main points of your essay.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

362 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
ou have been invited to attend an interview for a place on a course of study at a college. Unfortunately, because of a previous appointment, you cannot go to the interview at the time they wish. Write a letter to the admissions tutor. In your letter explain why you cannot keep the appointment apologise and offer to arrange a new appointment ask how long the interview will be, and whether there will be any tests during it You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear Sir or Madam,
I hope this email finds you in good health and you are doing well. I am writing this email to inform you of some concerns about the interview that I am supposed to attend next week as a prerequisite for placement in the Master of Business Administration course at your prominent college in Canada.
5.5
band
Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on evironment, eating habit and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
A lot of people believe that food industry has bad impact on environment, human beings and their eating habits. I completely agree with this point as the multinational food industries exploits forest, natural resources and compromises with our health to gain maximum profit on the cost of health of the customers.
4
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.
It has been widely claimed that more people prefer to be self-employed in this century than to work for corporation or organisation. While it could be considered that freelance working has more advantages. This essay will firstly discuss the reason for the claim before elaborating why I consider the situation to be positive circumstance.
4.5
band
Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages
In recent decades, enormous pollution is in evidence, in which the majority part of it belongs to transportation engines. Thus, in order to solve this problem, numerous solutions have been proposed, in which developing public transportation system is one of the practical keys.
4
band
Some people think a crime should always have a fixed punishment like life for murder, while others believe you should take the circumstances of the crime into account. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
A handful of people carry the opinion that having a fixed sentences for certain offences such as murder is the way to go. However, there are also others which opine, arguing that the nature of the offences committed should be taken into consideration as well. In this essay, I will delve into discussing both sides of this coin and provide my view.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on evironment, eating habit and families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation.

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages

Some people think a crime should always have a fixed punishment like life for murder, while others believe you should take the circumstances of the crime into account. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.