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Band 3

In some areas of US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are companied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#areas #‘curfew’ #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult
There are some areas in the United
State
Fix the agreement mistake
States
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 where the
rule
 curfew is enforced for
adolescence
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
show examples
that
Correct word choice
so that
show examples
 they
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
show examples
 go out after
certain
Correct article usage
a certain
show examples
 time at night unless their adult
company
Correct your spelling
accompany
show examples
 them. I believe
this
rule
 is definitely useful
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
America. The US is
one
 of country in the world which has
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 rate
crimes
Change preposition
of crimes
show examples
.
One
 of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
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 that
increase
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increases
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 the level of crime is that individuals could carry various
kind
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kinds
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 of
weapon
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weapons
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 without any specific permission. If Americans can purchase a gun and
carrying
Wrong verb form
carry
show examples
 it, they would shoot
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
any
Correct your spelling
anyone
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one
 and
runaway
Correct your spelling
run away
show examples
specially
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especially
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 at night because the darkness could help
criminal
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criminals
show examples
 to disappear as soon as possible.
Hence
this
 place are so unsafe for teenagers.
Moreover
,
this
rule
 which is restricting for
teen
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teens
show examples
 could
be help
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help
show examples
 parents to control their children better. Most of
immatures
Add an article
the immatures
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 might not pay attention to their family concern and, they want to stay
outdoor
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outdoors
show examples
 until midnight.
Therefore
 whenever children
may
Verb problem
apply
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want to stay out at night they would be with
one
 of
family
Add an article
a family
the family
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member
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members
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 who is mature.
Besides
 curfew is
one
 of the way that society learn
immature
Correct word choice
apply
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to
rule
abide
Correct word choice
and abide
show examples
. to clarify, if children learn to obey the rules they will not break them in the future.
To sum up
,
enforce
Wrong verb form
enforcing
show examples
 some
curfew
Fix the agreement mistake
curfews
show examples
 for teen in some
country
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countries
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a lot of
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
 for them and their family and I believe
this
rule
 is so practical in the US.
Submitted by reyhaneh.darash on

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Focus on addressing the task more directly by providing a balanced discussion on the issue of curfews for teenagers.
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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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