Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In
this
day and age, the criminal rate is increasing in many big cities. Some
people
argue that the best way to minimize an
offense
Change the spelling
offence
show examples
is to put a judgment as long as possible.
Nevertheless
, others think there are a lot of ways to ease crime I will shed light on my opinion in the following essay.
To begin
with, heavy punishment should be put on
people
who have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
serious damage
such
as murder, theft, or breaking the law many times.
In other words
, politicians must apply
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
long period of time for over 10 or 20 years, some
prisoners
have been sentenced to life imprisonment or even receive the death penalty. During
this
time, if the prisoner has good behaviour they can lighten their sentence.
For instance
, a person who kills more than five
people
and has many actions that threaten society must be judged to life imprisonment or receive the death penalty,
This
kind of dweller has no way to re-educate and their thinking can contribute to society.
On the other hand
, there are alternative ways,
such
as providing proper education and employment, that can improve
offenders
Change noun form
offenders'
offender's
show examples
awareness.
Initially
,
this
can help
prisoners
find a job after their judgment.
As a result
, some prisons set up conventional schools in them to teach
prisoners
.
Furthermore
, it
also
has many activities for convicts like gardening or heavy activities.
To sum up
, a substantial conclusion should apply to
people
who have a detrimental effect on society.
However
, retraining
prisoners
is the best way to decrease the criminal rate.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the issue and your main argument. Consider including a thesis statement outlining the structure of your essay.
logical structure
Work on developing a clear logical structure. Use transition words to link ideas and improve the flow of your essay.
supported main points
Support main points with more specific examples and explanations. Without concrete examples, your arguments lack depth.
complete response
Address the task by discussing both views comprehensively. Provide a balanced discussion before stating your opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas by elaborating more and giving thorough explanations. More sophisticated argumentation will enhance your task response.
relevant specific examples
Use more varied and relevant examples to support your arguments. Try to include real-life scenarios or theoretical arguments that directly correlate with your points.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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