PEOPLE ARE BECOMING MORE AND MORE OBESE. What are the reasons of this problem and how can this be solved?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Obesity
Use synonyms
has
becoming
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
a significant issue
amongst
Change preposition
in
show examples
society in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years. Sedanter lifestyle and
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
show examples
prevelance
Correct your spelling
prevalence
of fast
food
Use synonyms
consumption are accepted
the
Change preposition
as the
show examples
two essential causes of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity
Use synonyms
by experts.
This
Linking Words
essay will explain these reasons in detail, and provide viable solutions, like increasing daily active hours
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and encouraging
people
Use synonyms
to eat healthy foods. One of the possible reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the increasing number of
overweigh
Correct your spelling
overweight
show examples
people
Use synonyms
is the decline in
people
Use synonyms
's active hours. Since many individuals are likely to use motorized
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
in order to
commmute
Correct your spelling
commute
compute
,
instead
Linking Words
of cycling or walking, they burn
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
calories.
Hence
Linking Words
, these men and women tend to gain weight in the long term.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
the increase in the number of fast
food
Use synonyms
chains across the world,
people
Use synonyms
may eat burgers and french fries
with
Change preposition
while
show examples
paying less than
healtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
alternatives
such
Linking Words
as salads, or plant-based meals.
Moreover
Linking Words
, owing to the hustle
city
Change preposition
of city
show examples
life, individuals
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not eager to spend time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eating, with that perspective, eating a burger may seem a good way
for saving
Change preposition
to save
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time. When these two factors
added
Add a missing verb
are added
show examples
together, they may result in a synergistic impact on
people
Use synonyms
's health, and inevitably, lead to
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
of
obesity
Use synonyms
amongts
Correct your spelling
amongst
among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. There are some significant steps, which may make a world of
differences
Fix the agreement mistake
difference
show examples
in terms of reducing the
obesity
Use synonyms
level. Considering the reasons,
fistly
Correct your spelling
firstly
, providing
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
active lifestyle to individuals would be a viable solution. The more
people
Use synonyms
have more physical
activitiy
Correct your spelling
activity
in their life by using stairs
instead
Linking Words
of elevators, they tend to stay fit.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they may face less risk
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
suffering from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity
Use synonyms
compared to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less active
people
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, encouraging workers
cycling
Change the verb form
to cycle
show examples
for commuting
Change preposition
to commute
show examples
may enhance
Correct article usage
the employer's
show examples
employer's
Replace the word
employees's
show examples
daily activities, as they burn more calories,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
can keep their physical health without making
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
effort
Fix the agreement mistake
efforts
show examples
like
go
Change the form of the verb
going
show examples
to a gym after work. Another solution would provide easy access to healthier alternatives, like salads, or soups. Since lower prices may be
ofeered
Correct your spelling
offered
by
food
Use synonyms
chain companies , many
people
Use synonyms
, especially teenagers are likely to prefer to eat burgers
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or fries. In order to break
this
Linking Words
pattern, authorities may provide
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their citizens
Change preposition
with nutrious
show examples
nutrious
Correct your spelling
nutritious
alternatives like
vegetables
Change the noun form
vegetable
show examples
meals
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
affordable prices.
For instance
Linking Words
, a company in the UK, which made
enable
Verb problem
apply
show examples
healtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
foods
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
cheaper
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
for its
epmloyees
Correct your spelling
employees
,
indicate
Wrong verb form
indicated
show examples
that the rate of obese workers decreased dramatically.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is undeniable that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity
Use synonyms
is
oone
Correct your spelling
one
of the most essential issues these days.
Sedentary
Correct article usage
A sedentary
show examples
lifestyle
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and the change of preferences towards consuming fast foods are the most sounding causes.
By encouraging
Change preposition
Encouraging
show examples
more active
lifesytle
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
, and providing easier access to
healtier
Correct your spelling
healthier
food
Use synonyms
options would be accepted as reasonable solutions.
Submitted by ilaydailday on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction
Ensure a stronger, clearer thesis statement in the introduction.
logical structure
Enhance the logical structure by improving transitions and clarity between ideas.
supported main points
In the body paragraphs, develop your main points further with more detailed explanations and a wider range of vocabulary.
complete response
For a higher score, deliver a complete response by covering all aspects of the task more evenly and thoroughly.
clear comprehensive ideas
Craft clearer and more comprehensive explanations for the ideas presented.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples to support your reasons and proposed solutions, ideally with real-world data or references.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: