IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is no denying the fact that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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development in various fields should be considered the primary target for all countries.
While
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 it is a commonly held belief that the evolution of
Use synonyms
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 is the most crucial thing for numerous authorities, there is
also
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 an argument that the
progress
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 should
also
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 occur in other important sectors.
This
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 essay will discuss
this
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 topic from both points of
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
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 and express opinion. On one hand,
the
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apply
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economic status plays a vital role for any nation worldwide, as it represents the backbone for it.
In other words
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, if the
economy
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 of a country is strong, it will be able to cover its expenses, and it will not have any liabilities.
In addition
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, plenty of nations adopt
this
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 idea, and they create plans to make breakthrough
progress
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 in their
economy
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, which will enable the governments to hire lots of employees.
For example
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, In Malezia, they have accomplished an astonishing development in their
economy
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.
On the other hand
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, when
the
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progress
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 occurs in the other fields the same as the
economy
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, huge positive consequences will be achieved. It is
also
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 possible to say that, there is a robust connection between various sectors, so if the authorities pay their attention to all of them, the rate of
progress
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 will be very high.
Moreover
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, the developed countries follow
this
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 notion, and they continue supporting it.
For instance
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, the USA authority
make
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makes
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 many plans to attract genius people in different fields to exert
a
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apply
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tremendous
progress
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 in medicine and health,
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economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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, or invading the sky. In conclusion, there are no easy answers
for
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to
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this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I believe that the evolution should be implemented in all various sectors without any preference
of
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for
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 one field over the others.

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logical structure
Make sure to structure your essay with clear paragraphing, including distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Tie your ideas clearly to the question proposed.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion should clearly address the prompt, presenting your thesis and summarizing your key points respectively.
supported main points
Support main points with more detailed explanations and more specific examples relating to the topic. This will enhance your argument and demonstrate a broader understanding of the subject.
complete response
Ensure you thoroughly respond to all parts of the task and provide a balanced discussion of both views before presenting a clear personal opinion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop your ideas fully by exploring the reasons behind them and considering the implications or contrasting views to show depth of analysis.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples to support your points. Draw upon your own experiences, knowledge of current affairs, history, or other relevant areas to add weight to your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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